Insert Witty comment here

remember this. and remember it well. if you truely love someone, truely care about them…. Never ever ever be afraid to let them walk away, never be afraid to watch them turn your back on you. not if it’s what they need to be happy. not if it’s what they need to have a chance. (mind you, you never want to have that happen, but if it does happen don’t complain, don’t bitch about it, accept it and move on.) as odd as it sounds I cherish that principle. I hold that principle dear in my life. other people may think it strange. but it is what I am.

I truely want people to go for what makes them happiest, if that includes me in their life, great, if not, well… suck for me,  but… great anyway! *chuckles slightly* People sometimes are confused about what I want and what I need in my life. and perhaps one day I’ll do a good job of explaining to people what they mean to me, what they meant to me.

I am grateful for the people who have been my friend for years, who have stuck with me through everything, including my own pain, my own shame. I am grateful for people who take a step back and understand what it means not to blame someone. what it means to accept things and remain my friend. and I have had a few in my life who have had the paitence to remain my friend even at the worst of times. heck, I’m even going to go so far and name a couple of names (gasp), my friends Chrism Axl, and Guff. who have stuff loyally by my side and even making fun of some of my crazy things I’m into, without being mean or abusive. they’re the kinda guys who would help bury the body.

my friend amy, who has more physical problems than my worst days, but at the same time, manages to keep herself going and keep me level with a few well placed thoughts and points. (even if sometimes we drive each other buggy. it’s part of the reason I offer hazard pay *smirks*) You manage to encourage me to write, manage to encourage me to think and have remained one of the most loyal and closest friends a person could ever dream of having. she’s the kind of friend who would help, not just bury the body, but be in on the kill! *grins*

to my friend nicky, even if there are hundreds of miles between us, you’ve managed to show me that people can be close friends and can care, even if you never can see them. I’ve treasured what I have learned and I am happy that you still think I’m worth the time and energy.

over the last few weeks and months i’ve had more and more dreams about another friend (yes, I still call you a friend, even if we don’t talk much) who lives way up north. and for you my friend, I am grateful you still read and even as life has taken us in different directions, know that I will never forget you and you will always have a piece of my heart. (hums very softly to himself…. “you are my sunshine…. my only sunshine…”)

there are other people who are close to me, but there are only a few people who have been in my life for years and years.

(and of course I cannot forget nathan. you’re insane. getting married. in iowa. in november. egads. how in the heck can I make it. sigh. good luck old friend. of all my friends I’ve known you longest of all. almost 20 years. damn dude, you need to move back to georgia sometime)

Take care people, doctors appointments to go to tomorrow, maybe I’ll end up dead heh. but nah. too damn stubborn to end up dead. and too damn determined to not quit. (never give up, never surrender! *grins*) brownie points if you know what movie that’s from.