Fragile

She found him the next evening, leaning against a tree. As she approached him he slowly lifted his head up, his breathing coming out with a slight rattle and his voice weak, almost breathless as he looked at her and whispered, “stop. Don’t touch me.”

She frowned slightly stubbornly determined to help him as he’d helped her a thousand times before. A few paces away, she thought about how easy it would be to reach out and hold him tight and keep him safe. she took a step forward only to be arrested by his eyes, finally the mirror that reflected everything shattered and she could see inside him. All of the rage and pain and fear and lonliness. All of it burning within him, slowly eating him from the inside. She wanted to help but that look, that terrible look in his eyes stopped her, impaled her and made her writhe on the inside.

“Don’t touch me.” he repeated brokenly and gave a crooked smile as the mirrors reformed, hiding what was inside. “It’s too late to touch me, my dear. if you touch me now I will surely break apart into a million pieces.” He took a staggering step forward and with a grimace left the support of the tree. “the only person who can save me now is myself, and frankly I don’t care anymore if I do survive this.”

She shook her head angrily, putting that terrible look out of her mind and stepped forward almost angrily. “look, why should I let you fight this battle alone? you’ve helped me more times than I can count. quit being silly and let me hold you and keep you safe.” She steped closer to him and held her arms out paitently.

Oh, he was tempted to step forward and relax within her arms, relax and die within the safety of her arms. It would be so easy to let go of everything and escape. don’t do it , he thought to himself. and despite everything screaming no, he stepped forward and rested himself in her arms his head on her shoulder.

She smiled to herself as he pulled himself close to her. smiled and stroked his hair and whispered into his ear. talking to him through his low moan of despair. holding him close as he stiffened within her arms and she could feel the heat from his body radiating in a wave so strong she almost stepped back, so shaken was she.

He moved his blood flecked lips with great effort to her ear and whispered, “I love you” and slowly crumpled down through her arms as she cried out and grasped trying to hold up his suddenly heavy body. Slowly he crumbled brokenly to the ground and she fell down crawling next to him seeing him through blurred eyes, trying to reach out to him.

“no,” she whispered imploringly, “not like this…”

***

Please don’t touch me.