Pure Torture

First Anniversary

So Chris is is about 100 miles from Ft. Smith, which is in Arkansas right on the border between Oklahoma. Just a drive though arkansas and a 240 mile drive through Tennessee and he’ll be home. Hopefully before I leave for work tommorrow, which will suck. He’ll get home and I’ll have to leave.

I had an emotional breakdown at work today, in front of everyone.  I finally had to go outside. Everyone kept asking me where Chris was and that they hadnt seen him in forever, so I had to keep telling them where he was, and the more I thought about him the more I missed him, and the final straw was this table that left me a dollar tip in quarters on a 58 dollar bill. I felt so hurt that all that work wasnt paid for shit. White trash people. That broke me, and I was bawling for about an hour. My general Manager was really sweet about it, and told me to take as much time as I needed. I dont think peopel are used to seeing me sad at work. I keep my spirits high and try not to involve my personal feelings at work. But Im so stressed and lonely. I live with my in laws so I cant have people over spending the night and drinking, and I cant leave them alone, so Im alone all the time. And taking care of them and the house, and everything is just weighing on me. Im worried about him and Vince driving without stopping to sleep. I just want my hubby home. In the 4 years we’ve been together we’ve only been apart 3 times. Once a year, and only for a week at a time. But its always torture.