Perfect Puzzle

Everthing is so right these days. I don’t know what has changed but for the first time in years things seem to be looking up. I’ve always been pretty positive, but the facts are things have been against Chris and I from the beginning. People seem to be surprised at the love we have for each other for how little we’ve been together. With all we’ve been through together it’s impossible to imagine anything else.

I met Chris when I was 17. Freshly clean from meth and homeschool I met him 11 days after the start of 2002. My graduating year, and I was struggling to catch up the schoolwork I missed while in rehab for 8 months. I don’t regret it, long term treatment is definately the best. That January day I went to a local steakhouse and applied for a job. I was a bit early, but my mom was threatening to kick my ass(literally) if I didn’t go up then. I didn’t drive back then, my mom had a strict no driving until 18 rule. He was standing outside, smoking, looking all mysterious and silent. He let me in anyway. I knew at that moment, he was the one for me. All my life, he was the one. After a month of flirting and long talks on the phone, we finally went out for the first time. That first time, was so magical and amazing. I had never felt a better feeling in my life. Unfortunately in this time I relasped and was steadily using meth and cocaine. With Chris. Shortly after I turned 18 my mom kicked me out, I hda blown through savings on drugs, and Chris was far from ready for anything serious. But he let me crash at his place until I found a place to stay. He helped me pack my things and move in to my new place. We even broke up for a while. Strung out on drugs, he decided that we couldn’t be together. I stayed on the phone with him for hours, begging him to change his mind. I was coming down from a binge, and I was hysterical. I would lash out and start screaming. I threw things, begged, tried to reason. Nothing worked, and after almost 7 hours we hung up, agreeing to stay friends. I lost my job days after that, and my second job as well. My aunt was diagnosed with cancer and needed major surgery. Then I lost my place to live. I had nothing. But Chris was always there for me. We got clean, he helped me find a job, and he found me a new place to stay when my living situation fell through. All this happened in a month, and soon he wanted me back. That was 4 September’s ago.

That’s when me said I love you for the first time. I had told him months ago, but he hadn’t been ready at the time. I moved in with him offically, although I would often stay weeks at his house at a time. I made the choice later that year, barely a year together, to move to Tennessee with him. I could have stayed in California, but I just couldn’t let him go. We moved in August, and that November his mom had major surgery. His dad finding about about the cancer the next year in December. We’ve been through so much, I can’t believe we are so close. We have both changed and evolved so much together. It’s hard not to understand and love someone so much when you have witnessed them cry. We’ve been hellish fights. I’ve made him cry. He’s made me cry. We’ve never gone to bed angry. Except once. I will never do it again. We’ve conquered alot together, something no one can really understand but us. Just like I can’t understand anyone else’s situation. I’m still amazed by him. He still makes me heart beat faster, and calls just to say I miss you, even though it’s only been 2 hours. And he means it.

He rubs my tummy, and says I can’t wait til it gets big and motions a baby bump. We’ll be out and he’ll point to a baby, or a cute little kid, and say, one day we’ll have one of those. He asked me a few days ago why I stayed with him. I told him I just knew he was for me. He’s my perfect match. No one understands me better. I know his ins and outs. He loves my quirks, even though they annoy him. We’re a growing puzzle, and all the pieces fit.