Not Any Better

I haven’t a clue what’s going on with Jess. The antibiotics haven’t worked yet, but the doctor said it could take up to three days for his mental status to come back. But yesterday he just slept after coming back from the hospital. He didn’t get up until 10:00 am this morning. That’s over 24 hours of sleeping. We managed to get him to eat a banana and some ensure, a glass of orange juice, a glass of water, and some cranberry juice before he wanted to go back to bed. I’m still very scared for him. I thought he’s get better because of the medication, but truthfully we aren’t sure if it’s the UTI or not. This might be it. Sandra spoke with his doctor today and the doctor thinks this is the end. I like to live in denial, and not think about it. It’s too painful. But if this is the end, at least he won’t be in pain anymore.

It makes me wonder if God gave us this baby to keep us strong and together for the coming events. Is this why we were given a baby? Doesn’t seem exactly fair that we finally have a child, and she’ll never get to know her Papa.

Jess always said if he made it to 80 he’d be happy. He’s got a birthday coming up. He’ll be 77 years old. My goal is just for him to make that last birthday, because he won’t make another. It’s hard to type through watery eyes.

This is Jess about 5 years ago, before we knew about the cancer.

This is Jess 2 days ago, the afternoon before the ER.