I Simply Love You *w/pic*

< — — picture entry that way.

I’m hoping to do a neat through the years photos of me entry. Obviously I have more of my later years than earlier, but I think my look has totally changed. I’ve already started working on scanning in some photo’s, but of course I need big muscles man aka hubby, to lift the tele off the chest all my pictures are stored in. Trust me I tried, I can’t lift a 25 inch screen. I really don’t feel like beefing up just to do it either. Getting Chris to do it is just easier.

Sandra is still toying witht he idea of staying in this house after they fix the sinkhole. She’s worried that we won’t get what the house is worth, since there are about 10 houses for sale in the this sub-division.  The house across the street has been on the market for about three months, but the house right next to us on the left just sold their house in a month. Al & Debbie, our neighbours on the right have already started the selling process. Chris already had a talk with her, but I’m pushing at him to convince him. I’m worried that if we stay because we think it’s safe, another sinkhole will open under the house and take them with it. They never leave the house, unless Sandra has a doctor’s appointment, or Jess is going to chemo. I don’t think they would survive if the house fell.

Chris is wonderful. I wish we could see more of each other. I miss him. I always miss him. When he’s not around me, I miss him. Even if we are together in the same room, not talking, not touching, just doing our own thing, I feel better. Safe. Warm. I would be lost without him. I’m not sure how I would survive. I’m not sure I would want to.

My old insecurities about having a baby are flaring up. This usually happens when we are have money problems. I just get stressed at the fact that we could time everything perfectly and it doesn’t do a damn bit of good without medical help. I never get discouraged completely. I have faith that we will get our dream of having a child. Even if it takes longer, that just means we can tell our child we gave everything to have them. Nothing’s better than to know you were planned for and wanted.

My favorite pregnant friend came into work yesterday. She used to work with us until she found out she was having twins. She was 34 and worried that her time was up. Her mom died at 35 of ovarian cancer, and she was worried she would follow the same path. Then when she found out it was twins, it was amazing. Everytime I look at her I cry, for happiness. It gives us hope. I would take twins, or even one. I will take any baby God will bless us with. Chris feels the same. He always tries to lift my spirits, and talks about our "kids" constantly. He is the best supporter.

Last night my GM Marcus, who is black, asked me if I was Native American (Indian). I actually am Cherokee but mixed with German, and Scotish. The indian is most noticable with my thick long hair, nose, and facial features. I’m surprised he just noticed yesterday. I wear my hair in briads to work, to keep it out of people’s food, and I’m often refered to as Pocahontas. Or as Jodi calls me, Pocahoffnas. Well, I looked straight at him and said, Marcus, of course I’m Indian, I’m white aren’t I? We all had a big giggle over that one. I love how the blondest blue eyed person can say, hey I’m 1/10 part Indian. Every white person has indian in them it seems. Even if they don’t know for a fact. Thankfully I know my family’s heritage. My father is German and Scotish, and my mother is half Indian and german.

But you decide.

I have no clue as to why he might have thought that heehee.