Courage Doesn’t Really Matter
Jess’s birthday is on Friday. He’ll be 77. Yesterday I showed him the ultrasound of Kenzie and he smiled. I’m not sure if he really knew what he was looking at, but I told him. Some days are easier to handle than others. Today is not a good day for me. Once the tears start coming it’s hard to stop them. He’s completely gone to the dementia most times. A few seconds here or there he’ll remember me, or Sandra, or Chris. Sometimes he’ll recognize one of the dogs, but mostly he stares into space. It hurts so much to see him lost and confused, and to know there’s nothing we can do to help that. The realization that he’ll never meet Kenzie gets stronger and days like today I can’t block that thought out. Days like today the tears won’t dry. Chris is worse off in dealing with this than me, and I try to be strong for him. I don’t let him see me cry. It’s just not fair. I know he won’t be in pain anymore after he’s gone and he’ll join his parents and his brothers, and Woody, Shadow and Moosey, but it doesn’t make it easier to let him go. He wants to let go, but how do you decide to just not feed him or give him liquid. It just happened so fast. 2 weeks ago he was fine, and then one day, that was it. He was going, and then gone. All that’s left is traces of who he was in a body.
*HUGS*
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I know it’s tough *HUGS* a few years ago I lost my grandfather to alzheimers disease and its so sad to see a once brilliant person not be able to feed himself. It happend really quick for us too. The night they gave him 2 weeks to live he passed. It’s such a hard decision to make to stop feeding someone. Its tough but you’ll get through it…I promise.
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Hi I’m just a random noter, my grandpa just passed away a month ago and he had dementia, I know in a sense of what you’re going through, my papa was very sick and he was ready to let go and we all knew it, it was just too painfull to really realize that he will be gone soon, but when he passed, it was sad yet in a way happy because we knew he was not suffering anymore.
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oh lady *huge hugs* Maybe Kenzie was given to you at this time to help ease the pain of his passing.
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This reminds me so much of how fast my grandpa went and my great grandma, too. I’m sorry, honey. *hugs*
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So sorry…
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*HUGS* I am sorry to hear about Jess. I am praying for you hun! Just keep praying and hoping that Kenzie gets to meet the great man that is Jess!
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This is so sad to me. It reminds me of m y grandma being sick. One second she was here and then…. BIG {{{HUGS}}}
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*Hugs*
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*HUGS*
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*HUGS* My dad passed away from pneumonia after living with Alzheimers for eight years. I think it’s the most painful way to lose someone because really you’re losing them mentally and then finally physically. The only thing I found comfort in was knowing he was no longer scared because he knew who he was and who he’s with now. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
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