How am i?

I don’t know.  Folks constantly ask me and my usual answer is "all right" and they preceed to fill in that i have "good days and bad days".

That’s not really accurate.  It’s more like good moments and bad moments, subject to change at any time.  It can be triggered by the oddest thing…a certain smell, opening the medicine cabinet to find his hairspray staring back at me, finding one of his toothpicks that he constantly carried.

Or…having a new grandbaby that he’s not here to help me celebrate.

I talked to Nancy and she had a little boy, Noah, four lbs, 10 oz on Jan 21.  I think she’s completely overwhelmed by this new little person who came earlier than expected and is completley healthy, but he’s not doing anything "by the books" that she’d memorized.  I only talked to her for a few minutes before she said, "I have a spitting up, crying baby."

"I’ll let you go."

"Ok…i’ll call you back."

That was last Sunday.

I called Kim and Ant to let them know that Noah was here and as soon as i got off the phone, it hit me like a frieght train that Jim wasn’t there to enjoy this moment with me.  I limply slid down the kitchen cabinets, bawling.  I scared my poor fuzzy babies…didn’t mean to!  Doodle was right there, pawing at me and made me laugh through the tears.  I let her know that i was ok, but i just needed to finish crying.  And i did.

Yeah…good thing the folks in the white coats weren’t watching that little scene!!

And, i’m laid off from work.  Wed was my last day.  A few gov’t employees dropped the ball on getting our contract renewed and it’ll be at least a month, more like two or three.  At least i can collect unemployment and maybe get some of the paperwork and phone calls made to finalize getting Jim’s death certificate to take care of ohhhhhh, so many things.

THIS is awesome tho!!!!  I got a letter from LifeLink, where Jim’s organs were donated.  Now, i didn’t think he was a great canidate with several damaged organs and lousy eyesight, but this letter told me what was done/going to be done.

I’d already heard from the GA eyebank that his cornea were used to help people.  His bone tissue will benefit up to 20 folks with orthepedic problems due to trauma and defects caused by tumors.  The actual bone has recently been used to replace bone tumors, eliminating the need for amputation (is that incredible, or what???).  Some may also be used  for neurosurgical and dental surgeries, as well as plastic reconstruction.

The skin grafts will aid with patients who’ve suffered severe burns, shortening a longer healing process and in some cases, saving their lives.  Skin grafts are also used to treat open wounds that wouldn’t heal without them.

I had no idea!!  It’s a great comfort to know that he helped so many folks.  What a wonderful legacy!!!