Word of the day is GAH!

Twelve in12

Reading
Queen’s Play ~ Dorothy Dunnett
The Other Boleyn Girl ~ Philippa Gregory
Myst: The Book of Ti’ana ~ Rand Miller

Finished
Mirror, Mirror ~ Gregory Macguire
Witchling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Changeling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Something Wicked ~ Catherine Mulvany
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ~ J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~ J.K. Rowling
Myst: Book of Atrus ~ Rand Miller, Robyn Miller and David Wingrove
The Game of Kings ~ Dorothy Dunnett

I’m not excatly in the best of moods today, though I’m not entirely sure why.  Not true.  I called my aunt this morning to see how my cousin’s doing.  She was at the hospital, but my cousin was sleeping.  My poor aunt sounded so tired and worn-down.  Lauren’s latest MRI showed that the infection hasn’t spread, but her fevers have been getting worse.  She’s also now blacking out during the highest spikes of the fever.  Not completely losing consciousness, but going out of reality and not knowing what happened when she comes back around.  The doctors are pretty much clueless as to what excatly is happening.  My aunt said they changed the meds they are given her, but Lauren is so tired of being in the hospital.  She hasn’t been complaining or whining, doing everything the doctors ask her.  But even so, she’s not getting better.  She doesn’t understand why she’s not getting better when she’s doing what she’s told.  She wants to be done and go home.  As my grandmother pointed out (in case no one else noticed) today was Day 20 of her being in the hospital. I offered to drive out to Indy and pick up the oldest of the children, take him for a week and then bring him back.  My aunt really appreciated the offer, but said that he’s been practicing 3 times a week with the high school soccer team.  I’m planning on calling tomorrow in hopes of catching Lauren and make sure she doens’t want me to come get him.  When I asked how the boys were doing, she told me they were going feral.  She’s been pretty much leaving them to fend for themselves and isn’t quite looking forward to taming them.  I wish I knew how to help them, but beyond offering all the help that I can, there’s really not much I can do.  Which is really making me nuts.

I got the keys to my new apartment today and went over to check it out.  My landlord said the carpets hadn’t been cleaned, but they were supposed to be done on Monday.  She said if they weren’t, I should just leave all my stuff in the kitchen where there are no carpets.  That wouldn’t be a huge deal, except I have furniture.  Quite a bit of furniture and I don’t think it will all fit in the kitchen.  There’s a couple other things that haven’t been taken care of.  The place was just painted and the electrical plates haven’t been replaced.  They are all sitting in piles in the various rooms, but they need to be screwed in.  The upstairs toilet seat is cracked and needs to be scrubbed.  Its not that its really dirty.  The water here is just extremely hard and leaves all kinds of stains on the toilet, tub and sinks.  I have some great KaBoom stuff that will quickly clean it up, but still.  It’s stuff I’ve got to do.  The screen door on our porch is also laying on the porch, not actually in the doorframe.  The linen closet upstairs got painted shut.  I could probably force it open, but I’d really rather they force it open.  The electricity is also on and I don’t know who is paying for it right now.  Its supposed to be our responsibility, and I assumed it would be turned off now.  But perhaps it will end at the end of the month.  Or else it will stay on all summer and we just start paying in August.  I have no idea.  But I want to check with the landlords.  Cause if there will be electricity, I want to plug in the fridge and use it.  I have a ton of frozen chicken that won’t get used up before I leave because I’ve been cooking everything fresh lately.  Pizzas, calzones, pasta, omelettes, grilled cheese with onions, grapes, carrots, green peppers, melon, fresh bread and biscotti.  I just haven’t been in the mood for chicken.  But I will be again someday and don’t want to donate it away or throw it out.  We’ll see what happens.  There’s also a chance that Manny and his friends will be down here next weekend and I’ll be feeding them – which would be perfect timing.  They can come and eat all my chicken.  Talk about perfect timing.  Just as long as I don’t have my cousin and need to bring him back.  Although my cousin could probably stay through the weekend, and would fit in well with my friends.  Except, as his mother put it, he’d go back thinking he was 18-years-old.

In the spirit of getting ready to move, I started to figure out what I can bring over there soon.  I broke down some shelving units and packed up books.  I also started thinking about how I wanted to set up the apartment.  A part of me would like to include Kelly in all this, except she’s not answering calls, IMs or texts.  And she seems to be on the mind that I can do as I like in the apartment.  I want her to feel at home, but if she won’t help then I’ll do it myself.  I’m starting to worry about how I’m going to get the larger furniture like the couch and mattresses over there.  Everything else is small enough that I can move myself and put in my car myself.  But the couch and the mattresses…  I need a truck and another pair of hands.  I also want to throw out the easy-chair.  Its broken and it annoys me.  So I need to lift it up and into a dumpster.  Can’t do that on my own.  So I’m starting to be slightly concerned.  Especially since I can’t get a hold of Kelly (whose dad has the truck) to figure out when I can do this.  In the prepping for all this, and figuring out where I want to put the furniture, I started vacuuming and cleaning everything in this apartment.  I was listening to some records earlier and my speaker fell out again.  I don’t know whats wrong with my stereo but its been pissing me off that one of the speakers randomly cuts out.  And now the CD player on it doesn’t work.  And I need that player.  I have listening assignments and well, I’m a musician!  I want to listen to my music!  I don’t have the money right now to spend on a new system, cause if I’m going to spend money on one, I’m getting a really good one.  So I was pretty annoyed an

d started dismantling the back of the stereo to try and fix the speaker.  You know, ignoring all those "DO NOT OPEN!  RISK OF ELECTIRCAL SHOCK!" signs.  I had everything unplugged and I was really careful.  Long story made short, I figured it out.  With a tiny piece of an index card, I was able to fix the stereo.  At least the speaker issue.  The CD player is another matter.  I don’t know why, but I know the mechanism inside the player is no longer spinning the discs.  So it doens’t see the disc sitting there and tries to tell me there’s no disc.  GAH!  And my TV is having issues with its DVD player, not being able to spin the discs as well.  The TV is getting old.  I bought it in 2003 for $400, new from the store.  Its gone back and forth to school with me each year, and moved everytime I re-arrange my rooms.  My mom’s got a good TV repair guy back home.  I want to know if he can do my stereo as well.  I’m pretty sure he does TVs and stereos, but Mom can’t remember.  If he can’t or won’t do it, I’m not bringing the stereo home.  Gah.  Just too many things to take care of in the next week.

Oh, and speaking of returning home and working next week, I called Ro to see if she needed me to come in early or anything and she informed me the office was closed on Friday cause it was July 4th.  So basically, I’m only working two flipping days my first week home!  Yeah, I’m pretty pissed now.  I need to make money this summer and if camp doesn’t give me enough hours, I’m going to be screwed.  I’ll need to find another summer job, and that’s just not fair.  I like my job and I don’t want another one.  I need to practice this summer and do stuff.  Like enjoy my summer!

To top everything off right now, I want to talk to Newfie.  I’ve wanted to talk to him since my grandmother had her stroke this week.  And I’ve called, but he’s never been there.  His mum and I have wonderful little chats, but I don’t get to talk to him.  I’ve tried to be understanding that he has a life and what not.  That’s fine.  But I want to talk to him.  And I haven’t been coy or subtle.  I sent him IMs saying I need him, and even his mum has picked up that I want to speak with him.  I know he’s busy, but I miss my best friend.  I want to talk to him.  So I’m starting to wonder, how long do I need him before I force myself to not need him anymore?  How long before I stop waiting and force myself to move forward?  I’m starting to feel like our entire relationship has been me waiting for him.  And this time, when I really need him, I’m still left waiting.  So the person I ended up turning to was Manny.  I don’t mind turning to him, but I’m trying not to do that as much.  I’m trying to find other friends, other people to whom I can turn and lean on.  Newfie was one of those people for a while, when he was here.  And he told me he wouldn’t turn his back on me when he returned home. But I’m starting to feel like he is.  Whether he means to or not.  It doesn’t change the fact of the situation.

And what was it about today with the boys.  I didn’t take a shower this morning and I’m wearing one of my work shirts with jeans.  I felt icky and I was in a wretched mood.  But I got looks from the gas station boy and another customer, from the boys in the video store and even a very adorable "Hello" from the cart boy in the grocery store.  He was easily the cutest.  And none of them were the nice customer treatments.  I did smile at the cart boy, but it was not a big smile.  I was tired and worried and not in a great mood.  So what the hell!?!  I completely do not understand men.