Twitterbook?

"If you’re promoting changes to a woman’s behavior to ‘prevent’ rape, you’re really saying ‘make sure he rapes the other girl.’"

Saw this in a Facebook picture of a tweet. Because I’m social media ignorant, I can’t figure out who originally said it. But its interesting. And exactly what I wish I could spray paint on the side of every church in the area.

A thought on the still unfinished Superbowl commercial issue. In the feminist-heavy world of today, are we somehow tipping the balance the wrong way and in our hurry and striving to insist that women are the SAME (which we are not, equal does not mean same), have we forgotten to teach our sons how to really respect a woman? I think too many of the reactions to the commercial have been "Well, he didn’t mean it like that!" Intentions do matter and intentions do have importance. But not at the expense of teaching our sons to ‘carpe feminam’.

I’m not done yet. While teaching our daughters that we are not responsible for another person’s actions, we can’t forget to teach our sons how to carpe diem instead of carpe feminam.

^melting moments^

February 8, 2013

I absolutely agree. What is fundamental to that argument is that we need to accept that men are innately geared and not responsible for raping women and that if you do get raped, it’s your fault for not preventing it. That makes me maaaaaad!!!

AprilSays

February 13, 2013

ryn: does the subliminal message date back that far? absolutely! “having the woman” has been a sign of masculinity for… ever? I dont’ know.. it’s been a big one for a long time, that’s for sure. controlling women’s bodies in the past makes sense to me. incredibly wrong but i understand why cultures did it. How else were you to know that child was yours? and how else were you to protect your

families lineage, rights, etc.. that’s a different topic but controlling women has *benefited* society for a very very long time.. until now. All of this is new, honestly. So I have patience for culture to change. It’s going to be tough and a long road but it is possible. I have to ask, what would you consider emasculating? I had that same concern years ago.. I think a lot of what I was worried

about was protecting masculinity.. except I realized that MATURE masculinity will always be fair, just, kind, compassionate and still assertive,firm, etc.. all the things we associate with a strong “maleness.” It’s attractive, you know? I love having a masculine partner. What I learned is there is an immature masculinity (the bully, the trickster/boy, the manipulator, etc) and the mature..

a lot of what i associated with protecting the masculine was actually just protecting immature masculinity instead of cultivating a mature one. We STILL put immature masculinity (like in the commercial) up on a pedestal. The common phrase: boys will be boys. Shazar introduced me to a book, “King Warrior Magician Lover” that helped me understand what I was trying to unravel.

“have we forgotten how to teach our sons how to respect a woman.” This .. assumes that we EVER taught men how to treat women. People live in a dream world about how it was for women back in the day. As if women weren’t raped then? They were.. they just weren’t spoken about because the blame would be placed on the girl. It didn’t matter how pious she had been. My dad says this stuff. “If only we

could back to how it was in the good old days. Things were better then.” No.. they weren’t. they were *significantly* worse for everyone but straight, white men. This is glorifying what the media projects. “Everything was great way back when because you had a man protect you, a house, children, a provider and women didn’t have to worry about a thing!” Even more so, aggressiveness was glorified

It was okay for men to “put their foot down.” What did that mean, exactly? Ever see the Honeymooners? To the MOON ALICE! What was he suggesting to her? That he’d like to punch her in the face. Oh, right it’s a joke.. so we must not take it seriously. No, it was seriously, seriously wrong. now it is not okay to joke about hitting your wife. I’m not suggesting that men were all abusers or somethin

hahaha! that would be.. ridiculous. There are a lot, a lot of good people… but especially back then we glorified immature masculinity. “Fighting for your girl” was acceptable.. Have you seen your partner get in a fight to “protect you?” It’s scary. And often it starts over absolutely nothing. It’s just roosters wanting to prove their manly hood. Sometimes its called for it and man it’s nice to

know someone can protect you.. but it’s also an absurd show of..w hat? Ego. Most of the time, that’s what it is. I’ve watched so many men get into fist fights over a girl being bothered at a club. There is ZERO need for that unless the guy is pulling on the girl and being handsy. Usually he is not. And anyway, they’re just looking for a fight. We have already focused so much on teaching

women how to protect themselves, how to set up boundaries, etc.. Right now, the thing we need to focus on is creating a mature masculine culture. Nothing short of this will solve the problem.