this is our family jewel

Twelve in12

Reading
Queen’s Play ~ Dorothy Dunnett
Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austen
Sentimental Education ~ Gustave Flaubert
Finished
Mirror, Mirror ~ Gregory Macguire
Witchling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Changeling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Something Wicked ~ Catherine Mulvany
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ~ J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~ J.K. Rowling
Myst: Book of Atrus ~ Rand Miller, Robyn Miller and David Wingrove
The Game of Kings ~ Dorothy Dunnett

This weather is absolutly disgusting. At least for my tastes. Its been hot and humid all day and night. I have a hard time sleep in this weather and I don’t really like to even move. Now, I know, my tolerance for heat is much lower than most people. Anything above 75 degrees with humidity above 50%, and I’m not a happy person. I’ve switched my life so I sleep during the hottest parts of the day and work through the night. I’ve decided to spend today watching movies in a wet tank top with the fan blowing on me. The water drying helps lift off some of the heat, but its still icky.

I’m watching The Family Stone mostly because its the only thing on worth watching right now and I’ve never seen it. Families fascinate me. Sibling interaction and parents on top, especially when everyone is grown. I don’t have siblings. I don’t have brothers and sisters to go to when Dad acts strange or while Mom’s going through menopause. I don’t have stories about being dropped down the stairs or dropping my little brother on his head. I don’t have a sister to fight with over boys. Its always been just me and my parents. So families fascinate me. Even my parents interacting with their own siblings is interesting to me. Its a relationship I will never be able to fully comprehend or understand. And it makes me feel lonely. When parents die, or get sick or make mistakes, the children have each other to lean on for support and comfort. There’s a bond there, a relationship that can’t be manufactured. I know that not all siblings are loving, kind and as wonderful like in the movies. I know that there are always problems in families. I’m not trying to Disney-fy everything and I’m not imagining the Norman Rockwell pictures. No one is perfect. But its a loneliness that no one can really explain. Movies about families always make me want a big family. Or at least more than two kids.

I can hear Megan laughing at me already. She’s got twins and a new one on the way. Everytime I start talking about families and wanting kids, she offers to ship me hers for the weekend. And she’s got a point. But she’s also got a brother. Her children will have siblings. I don’t even think Manny really understands. He has Settle. They are brothers through and through. I may have friends from junior high and people who have known me my whole life. But not a best friend from kindergarten. Manny and I were talking about what will happen when Settle gets engaged and they set a date. I said knowing Settle, they might not have a date by the time they tell the family, but once they tell friends I would imagine they would. Perhaps not right away, but at least a month and year. Manny answered that he was the brother; he would be told with the family. I don’t know if thats true or not, but it made me realize that Manny doesn’t understand me as well as he’d like to think. He is an only child as well, but his extended family has always been right there next to him. My extended family is stretched all over the place.

Its not bad, not good, not right, not wrong. Its just different. And I will never know what the other side feels like. Perhaps this is why I’m so fiercely and doggedly loyal with certain friends. I’m trying to create a family out of them. And perhaps that’s why when things fall apart it hurts me so much.

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing

Ev’ryone can see we’re together
As we walk on by
And we fly just like birds of a feather
I won’t tell no lie
All of the people around us they say
Can they be that close
Just let me state for the record
We’re giving love in a family dose

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing

Living life is fun and we’ve just begun
To get our share of the world’s delights
High hopes we have for the future
And our goal’s in sight
No we don’t get depressed
Here’s what we call our golden rule
Have faith in you and the things you do
You won’t go wrong
This is our family Jewel

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing

We are family
I got all my sisters with me
We are family
Get up ev’rybody and sing

We Are Family ~ Sister Sledge