The Waiting

I forget that 1am is technically the next day, but to me, I haven’t gone to bed, so I’m not onto the next day yet…

I’m going to Florida for Thanksgiving Break. I was talking to Jenn about it and she said she didn’t quite get why I didn’t want to go so much. It has a lot to do with the fact that I hate Florida, but more, this time around, with the fact that I won’t get to go home for Thanksgiving. I’m going to Ohio to see my uncle and then to Indiana to see my aunt. I’m flying out of Indiana down to Florida. I’ll be back in Indiana on Satuday, where I’ll have to to immediately drive back to school so I can be here for my new church job on Sunday. I’m excited about the job, but right now I wish I hadn’t taken it so soon. I’d like to have more time to get back to school. I’m going this coming Sunday and then next Sunday is my Thanksgiving Break. On one hand I really wish I could take both weeks off, but I don’t want to do that to the church. I would mean I come for one week and then take two weeks off and then have only 3 Sundays until Christmas Break. Its just the way things work out I guess. And I’ll deal with it and be fine with it. I’m just not wild about Florida. We’re going to see my grandfather and that’s all fine and good. But I also hate these trips because it might be the last time I see my grandfather.

I don’t like this waiting. I’m not really afraid of him dying because I know its inevitable. But the dragging out, the suspense is killing me. Not that I just wish he would die already; I wish he would get better and I wouldn’t have to think about him dying. When my other grandfather died, it was quick. He had the heart attack, two weeks later the surgery and two weeks later he was gone. It was long enough so everyone could say goodbye and come to terms with the idea. No one was really shocked or blindsided by it. But it was also not long and drawn out. My grandmother didn’t suffer trying to cope with living with a sick husband and the children weren’t constantly flying down to see and help out. It’s a rock and a hard place; I don’t care for this position.

On the roommate front, things are stable – at least as much as they are every going to be. Melissa been complaining about stupid crap to Jenn and she’s getting fed up. Jenn said she can see both sides of the story, but I think deep down she knows I’m really in the right. She just doesn’t know how to really stand up to Mel sometimes. If I was really doing things wrong, I might be more upset. But I know I’m in the right, and I just don’t care anymore. I have enough crap to worry about. And when that thought process doesn’t work, I just go play WoW. I did ask Mel a question today regarding the electric bill and she answered very nicely. Granted all she had to say was yes or no, but nevertheless she said it without an attitude or anything. Its a step.

Ok – its now 2am and I need to get some sleep…..