the conversation with the flying plates

Twelve in12

Currently Reading: Mirror, Mirror by Gregory Macguire

Date:Friday, 11/2/2007Mood Level:DepressedSeverity:Mild (without significant imparment)Anxiety:1=MildIrritability:1=MildHours Slept:3 HoursMedication:100mg Lamictal

So I upped the dosage today. I also stayed up all night Thursday night, so I had massive amounts of coffee to try and stay awake. It made for a very unhappy tummy. So I wasn’t really in a great mood all day long. But we had the wedding quartet rehearsal and went really quite amazingly well. We’ve decided we really like playing together and after the opera and Thanksgiving is over, we’re going to read through some string quartets, just to keep playing and having fun. I know how much Oboe Heahter likes playing with chamber groups, so she’s really excited. We all sight-read really quite well together, so there won’t be a tons of prep or real practicing. We’re not going to do it for a recital or anything, it will just be for us the up our rep.

Sip, Laura, Heather and Scott also did their harp recital yesterday. It was cute! I can understand how Sarah gets annoyed with Sip. She really is just great at everything. Heather is the harp major, but she doesn’t have the same musical spark as Sip. But she is really quite amazing in her own right. I understand how Sarah feels around Sip. We glow pretty brightly, but she will always glow brighter. She’s an overachiever and does anything and everything for everyone. It is a little annoying. But what’s more annoying is that she doesn’t realize that’s what she’s doing. She doesn’t do it from a position of cruelty. It’s just who she is.

This may be cruel, but a few people have “whispered” to me that they felt I played better than Sip. My mom’s friend from Buffalo said she felt that my sound was bigger, fuller, darker. She also liked that I didn’t move as much. She said I let the music speak for me, as opposed to dancing so much with my body. Everytime Sip goes and does something amazing, I think about those comments. I haven’t really shared them with anyone in the studio, even Doc. Partly because I’m not sure anyone else would agree. Sip is the yardstick by which we are all measured, and there’s no way anyone surpasses her. Which is an annoying concept, but its how everyone thinks. So I just hold on to the comments from those who think otherwise. And it makes things better.

Its actually Dustin and Marcie’s Wedding, and I have a million things I want to do today before we go over there. As much as I want to have fun tonight, I’m not sure I want to drink and get drunk. For whatever reason, I’m not in the mood. Maybe I’ve got it out of my system for a few while. The calls from Mike are still weighing on my mind. I’m just trying to sort it all out. We’ll see what happens!

You don’t know that I felt good
When we up and parted.
You don’t know I knocked on wood
Gladly broken-hearted.
Worrying is throught,
I sleep all night
Appetite and health restored.
You don’t know how much I’m bored!

The sleepless nights, the daily fights
the quick toboggan when you reach the heights
I miss the kisses and I miss the bites
I wish I were in love again!

The broken dates, the endless waits,
the lovely loving and the hateful hates,
the conversations with the flying plates
I wish I were in love again!

No more pain, no more strain
now I’m sane but
I would rather be gaga!
The pulled-out fur
of cat and cur
the fine mismating of a him and her
I’ve learned my lesson,
But I wish I were in love again!

The furtive sigh, the blackened eye,
the words “I’ll love you till the day I day”
the self-deception that believes the lie
I wish I were in love again!

When love congeals it soon reveals
the faint aroma of performing seals
the double-crossong of a pair of heels.
I wish I were in love again!

No more care, no despair
I’m all there now
But I’d rather be punched-out!
Belive me sir
I much prefer
the classic battle of a him and her.
I don’t like quiet and
I wish I were in love again!

I Wish I Were in Love Again ~ Babes in Arms