Taste of him on my lips

So this weekend was good. I got moved into my other room. Kaba came over and helped so much. We moved this computer desk by ourselves and that was awesome. We’re both fighting colds, so we kept taking breaks to talk about stuff and ramble. But it was a good pace. It was a lot of fun. I’m excited about this room, cause it gives me some more space to sprend out my life.

Last night Kaba and I went out randomly shopping for nothing. We were both so stir crazy from moving stuff all weekend. So we went to Thomasville Furniture Store. It’s way too expensive for us right now, but it was still fun to look at the stuff. This saleslady was showing us stuff and we were having a ball pretending we were going to get something at some point and letting her show us stuff. It was a lot of fun. We didn’t buy anything, except coffee from Dunkin, so that was really good. Then on the way home Mike called. He was driving home from Syracuse and wanted to tell me he was leaving on Saturday for Pensacola. He’s going out on a ship sometime next month. Anyway, I “made him” stop by cause I wanted a proper goodbye. I didn’t really have any convincing to do because I could tell he wanted to come over.

So we got together and it was great. He’s excited to go. His old job didn’t want him to quit, which is why he was in Syracuse. The company was “wooing” him. But he wants to go and he’s gonna go. They told him if he wanted to come back, he could basically request any location and they would set him up. They said he didn’t even have to call, just show up at an office. Evidently he’s highly valued cause he actually does his job. Anywho, he’s glad he knows he’s got a job when he comes back. He gave me his email and made me promise to email him.

So the scary part of all this….The ship he’s going out on is a Marine transport ship. They are basically bringing Marines in and out of different ports. The ship is an aircraft carrier so stuff will always be going on. He flies to Pensacola for PT and aptitude tests, then leave sometime next month. He doesn’t know where he’s going yet. But even when he does find out, he’s not allowed to tell me. I can email him. But its to his aol account. His roommate is going to copy and paste them into a secure email and send all his mail to him via that. It has something to do with the military not wanting the ship’s location compromised. Classified destinations, compromised locations…its all kinda scary. And yet at the same time, I’m so damn proud of him. I’m proud of all the military, but I know him and I care about him. As 3 Doors Down put it, they are not pro-war, but they support the troops to the extremes. I’m not sure what to think of the war and all that. But I am so proud of the troops all over the world, not just those in Iraq. My “childhood friend”, John is on the USS Nebraska out in the Pacific. I’ve known him since kindergarten and its just awesome to know that he’s out there.

So Mike doesn’t know how long he’ll be gone. They usually don’t have guys gone for more than 6 months cause they get burned out so fast. They work between 16 and 20 hour days, get about four hours of sleep, then start all over again. They are nuts. But they get amazing pay and benefits. So he’s hoping he’ll be gone 4 months at the shortest and 6 months at the longest. I asked if he was gonna call me when he got back and he was like, Absolutely of course! Why wouldn’t I? It was nice to hear. We sat in the driveway for a while, cause I didn’t want to get out and he really wasn’t pushing me out the door either. He smells good. The only bad influence he has on me is the after-sex cigarette. But I didn’t smoke most of it and I probably could have split his and been just as happy.

When I went home, I was so awake and in such an odd mood. I sat up and watched Tape. (Talk about strange movie, really good, but really strange.) I could still taste him on my lips and smell him on my skin. I wanted to wrap myself up in his smell and just go to sleep. Ick, sleep’s been hard of late. Headaches and stuffiness and last night was hard too. Its just all strange. Thats the best way to describe it all.

Ok yeah…this song has to go up cause of Mike. I’m gonna miss him. No tears for him yet, though. I’m kinda waiting for them to come at some point….

There’s another world inside of me
That you may never see
There’s secrets in this life
That I can’t hide
Somewhere in this darkness
There’s a light that I can’t find
Maybe it’s too far away…
Maybe I’m just blind…
Maybe I’m just blind…

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared
And love me when I’m gone

Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I’ll never let you down
Even if I could
I’d give up everything
If only for your good

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared
You won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone
Love me when I’m gone…

When your education x-ray
Can not see under my skin
I won’t tell you a damn thing
That I could not tell my friends
Roaming through this darkness
I’m alive but I’m alone
Part of me is fighting this
But part of me is gone

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared
And love me when I’m gone

Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I’ll never let you down
Even if I could
I’d give up everything
If only for your good

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared
You won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone

Maybe I’m just blind…

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
Hold me when I’m scared
And love me when I’m gone

Everything I am
And everything in me
wants to be the one
You wanted me to be
I’ll never let you down
Even if I could
I’d give up everything
If only for your good

So hold me when I’m here
Right me when I’m wrong
You can hold me when I’m scared
You won’t always be there
So love me when I’m gone
Love me when I’m gone…

Love me when I’m gone
When I’m Gone
When I’m Gone
When I’m Gone

When I’m Gone ~ 3 Doors Down