stop the unhappines

I see now how she never listens. If she read what I really wrote, she would know the truth. But she reads what she wants and screams at me. I was wrong, I’ll admit it. I made a mistake. But it didn’t involve all the people who decided to get involved. Its amazing what comes out when you are drunk and angry. What I discover when the truth comes spilling violently out. Maybe I don’t deserve a friend like that. If this can break a friendship, maybe it never was to begin with. If I’m the backstabber how come there is a knife in my back as well? I’m just tired of all the unhappiness. I won’t apologize for what I said. I’ll apologize for saying it how and when I did. And I am truly sorry. I’m sorry that I lost someone I thought was a friend. Someone I thought loved me. She has lost the right to care about me. Just like he did everytime he pissed me off. Maybe I bit my tongue too many times. Maybe I should have started screaming back what was in my head. But I know it will get me nowhere. So I held my tongue and lost my friend. Cut off my nose to spite my face. I’m more hurt by what her friends who tried to defend her. According to them I act like her mother and I’m a liar. And I’ve been lying for the past 2 years. Funny cause I must have been doing such a good job I was lying to myself as well.
If I stop caring, I’ll stop hurting. If I stop loving, I’ll stop dying. If I stop breathing, I’ll stop the pain.