screaming lies of friendship

people are standing everywhere
they all have someone to talk to
i came with him but now he is talking to her
i listen silently as they chatter away
and there is nothing i can say
beer cans popping open and laughter about me
and i don’t want to be here
but i don’t want to be alone

in this crowded room of strange faces
occassionally floats a face i know
but i look away not knowing what to say
my tongue is like lead in my mouth
and they walk away
cigarette smoke floats in front of me
cans of beer dance all around me
and i don’t want to be here
but i don’t want to be alone

the cold of the outside is refreshing
from the smoke and heat indoors
the quiet of the night and the still of the air
gives relief to my head
out here no one ignores me
the stars dance their ballet above
but all of the time the party inside
calls me back calls me in

its like a drug that i cannot quit
i want to just disappear
how can be that in my group of friends
all i want is to just fit in?
they have their jokes and their flirting games