RIP Granddad

Edward W. Wasmer, 83 died Sept 7, 2004. He was born in Paterson, NJ and came to Bradenton in 1991 from North Haledon, NJ. He retired as a controller for Hawthorne Chevrolet Auto Dealership. He was a member of Hawthorne-Fortitude Masonic Lodge in Ramsey. He was an Army veteran of World War II.
Survivors include his wife of 52 years, Nancy; daughters Karen and Judy; sons Ken and Geoff; two sisters and nine grandchildren.

He loved pink carnations. As he got older, he mellowed. He would sing Green Acres at the top of his lungs. “Let me say this.” He was my grandpa.

I’m losing memories of him. I don’t remember things he did. I have to really think to remember the sound of his laugh. He cried for me. He was so happy to see me this summer that he cried. And he was crying when he told my mom he wanted me to tell my other grandparents about being bipolar. My mom said it wasn’t like his dying wish or anything. This is before he died. But I feel like it was. At least he dying wish to me.

The past week has been a blur and I hate hackers. Tuesday night I found out he was dead. My parents and I were flying down the next night to be with my grandma and set everything up. The rest of the family was too.

Wednesday – I actually went to work. My dad had sent an email to a few people telling them what happened. I still don’t know who knows and who doesn’t. I’m not so sure Chris P. knows but I could really care less. I don’t think I want her to know. I told Julia and Susan and they said they would ward off anyone who bothered me. Susan said she would stab them in the eye with a pen. At first I was going to stay the whole day, but my mom called and asked me to come home because she was starting to freak out a little bit. So I did and Val was completely ok with me going. I went home and packed and figured out what I was going to need and what I shouldn’t bring. The day before I had made plans with Manny to come over and watch When Harry Met Sally since he was leaving on Thursday. But since we were leaving that wasn’t going to work. I called him on my way to work and left him a voicemail. I called him on my way home as well and he was sorry. I told him I wanted to see him to say goodbye before he left. So he agreed to come over when he was done with whatever he was doing. I called Russ and told him goodbye as well. He was so cute. He was like Your grandpa dies and you think to call me to say goodbye. You are so sweet. Manny came over in the middle of my packing and just sat with me while I finished packing and deciding on what CDs to bring. I found the CDs I had made him and decided to just give them to him. I haven’t heard what he thinks about them yet. Oh well, we’ll find out eventually. But it was really nice to see him and he helped me carry my bag to the car and everything. The airplane ride sucked. We were in the last row, so our seats didn’t recline. And the seats were so close together my legs didn’t fit. My knees were jutted against the seat in front of me. Least I was on the aisle seat so I could kinda manuver one leg out. But then the wonderful women in front of me tried to recline. Because my knee was there, she couldn’t. But then she did one of those, press the button and smash her body against the seat to recline it. So the chair with the metal bars crashed into my knee. Yes I have a bruise and yes, it still bothers me. It kinda messed up my knee. So I couldn’t get comfortable and it killed my knee. I was limping when we got off the plane. Yeah, that was fun. It was a direct flight rather than stopping in like DC or Raleigh, so we were sitting there for about 3 hours, when you factor in the boarding and unloading of the plane. But the hotel was nice and we got there around midnight or after. Daddy got a little lost because Mommy was being a backseat driver. I realized then why I didn’t want to sit in the front seat. I didn’t sleep well because it was a strange bed and I was just strange about being in Florida.

Thursday – We had breakfast with my grandmother and my Uncle Ken. Grandma, Mom, and Uncle Ken all started crying when we arrived. It was bad. When I hugged her, Grandma whispered He loved you so much. You were special because you were the first. That started me crying. But we all tried to calm down and eat something. We talked about the funeral plans and the things that needed to be cancelled, Driver’s License, Social Security checks, medications from the VA and credit cards. Uncle Ken and Dad took care of a lot of that stuff. Then Mom, Uncle Ken and Grandma went off to do some errands; meeting with the funeral director, go to DMV and some other places. My dad and I stayed in the apartment and my dad did some work. That night, the siblings met at the church to plan things out for the memorial service with the pastor. My dad wanted to play organ and I was going to play handbells and piano. So while the meeting was going on, we practiced in the sanctuary. My mom stayed with my grandma that night, so it was just me and my dad at the hotel. I couldn’t sleep.

FRIDAY – We had breakfast with my dad’s parents on the beach. I tried to tell my grandfather about being bipolar but it just didn’t work. After my grandparents left, we went for a walk along the beach. My parents talked a lot and we found some cool shells washed up from Charlie and Francis. There was a luncheon at the retirement village where my grandparents lived and another meeting with the pastor. My parents and I went back to the church to practice again and I had to set up the handbells. My aunt was going on about how good the piano stuff I played was and amazed that I had written the arrangement of Seek Ye First. When my parents returned we went to the hotel to change for the Masonic service and viewing.

MASONIC SERVICE AND VIEWING – Granddad didn’t want lots of flowers or a million people marching by his casket and he wanted a Masonic service. But the family wanted to see him one last time before we cremated him. The setup was a Masonic service and viewing at the funeral home. The first two hours or so was for family only, then the few invited friends joined for the Masonic service. The siblings went in first with Grandma. Then the spouses joined them. We grandchildren went in last. I wasn’t sure how all the kids were react. We ranged from 20 to 7 years old. I burst into tears when my mom hugged me and started really crying. He didn’t look like my grandfather. I mean physically I guess he did, but he was empty, souless. Everyone kept saying that he looking good, like he was just sleeping. In a way he did. But to me, seeing him like that made me realize he was really gone. I hadn’t quite accepted the fact that he was really dead. I didn’t really expect the younger grandkids to cry. I didn’t cry at all when my great-grandfather died and I was about 6 or 7. But I think the only ones I didn’t see crying, including all the adults was Matt (16) and Abby (7). Which almost made me more sad. To see everyone crying. Hurts in my chest. I stood by the casket quite a few times, trying to say goodbye. But I kept thinking NO! I don’t want to say goodbye. I’m not ready to let you go. It was really tough. The Masonic service was strange. They read some stuff, words of comfort and so