pull the trigger and the nightmare stops

Across the floor in the hand of where we drove the drill
a cautious ear to the mouth of your confession
think of all the things we put him through
in the face of his god would he tell the truth?
still recorded were the words that dribbled out his kiss
when eyes go blind in this man of what could once become
sever the limbs off his torso in sleep
and burn what remains so the world may now see
no longer…will we wait for your answers
back to the hell where you’ve come from
think of all the times you’ve once had
write them in a letter that says goodbye
you’ll listen to reason while you’re face down in the dirt
you’ll stomach the hurt and break for him here just how much he’s worth
slowly discarded were the remains of his lonely youth
among the alley where the dwellers scare to notice
picture a young boy in pieces and streets with leveled malfunctions
no name to be called redeemer
I’ll fix him restore him…with the love is no other
think of all the things you did before
write them in a letter that says reborn
following you across the interstate walking away…I’ll fire on
on the wrong way out
on the causeway through/to neverwhere
dear my friends in the time we spend forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end?
pull the trigger and the nightmare stops…forever you will learn

Three Evils (Embodied In Love And Shadow) ~ Coheed and Cambria

This song is stuck in my head so its going here. Especially the last line Dear my friends in the the time we spend forever after beyond this when will our nightmare ever end? pull the trigger and the nightmare stops…forever you will learn
Manny and I went out last night to visit Russ at Hammett’s. It was actually fun. I had to clean up my room and I was listening to Garbage’s Cherry Lips. Manny was laughing at me, cause I was dancing around my room like an idiot. But I got him back cause I got the song stuck in his head when we were at Hammett’s. Then Russ was having problems with the balancing of the registers and I was laughing cause I remember the nights at the hotel when it would be a few thousand dollars off and I would throw the phone and scream and yell. It was somewhat amusing. Well not then it wasn’t but now I can look back and laugh about it. Heather called Manny’s cell when we were there cause she wanted to tell me not to call until 1030. So after me and Manny left Hammett’s he asked me about my poems I’ve been writing lately and what was up. And so I decided to try and explain it to him. So with a cigarette and the ride home I started to and finished in the driveway with a second cigarette. I don’t know if he understands or not. I don’t think he really does. But I think now he feels like I’m not locking him out. I wish I could explain it to him, but without him going through it himself which I would never want, I can’t get to him to really understand it. Which I think he finally understands that part of it all. But Mommy called me in and so he left and told Mom I was going to bed. Which I did. But I brought the phone with me to call Heather once Mommy left. I put on Coheed and Cambria on and was writing in my little notebook waiting for mommy to go to bed. But Mommy didn’t go to bed until almost 130. Well by then I was fast asleep. Heather did call around 1130 I guess and I told Mommy to tell her I’d call her later. I was so tired and I was fighting the urge to go get my knife. Suicide ideation. When you think or talk about suicide, it makes you more likely to do something. Which is true and that talk with Manny def put me in that mood. But I feel asleep and called Heather today instead. I can’t wait to see her tomorrow. I really wish I could take Mommy’s car, but I don’t know if she will let me. We’ll see. I would prefer to drive whatever car we take. Especially since I’ll be the one talking to Dave about how to get there from Route 17. Anyway I’m still excited. Tonight I’m playing pool with John and Jill. And Kyle and Anthony are dropping off the tickets for their show on Friday. Which reminds me, I need to go to the bank. Missing September’s last show is on Saturday and I’m so sad to see them go. That’s how it is though.
Ok back to work for me now.