Numb

I’m tired of being what you want me to be
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface
I don’t know what you’re expecting of me
Put under the pressure, of walking in your shoes
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Can’t you see that you’re smothering me?
Holding too tightly, afraid to lose control
‘Cause everything that you thought I would be
Has fallen apart, right in front of you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
Every step that I take is another mistake to you
Caught in the undertow, just caught in the undertow
An’ every second I waste is more than I can take

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

And I know
I may end up failing too
But I know
You were just like me
With someone disappointed in you

I’ve become so numb
I can’t feel you there
Become so tired, so much more aware
I’m becoming this, all I want to do
Is be more like me and be less like you

Numb ~ Linkin Park

My dad and I have a relationship much like described in this song. I’ve always tried to do what he wanted, even at the expense of who I am. But sometimes I really don’t know what he wants from me. He and my mother are both highly successful in their careers. He is an attorney and she’s a teacher. Both are respected and loved in their jobs. I am a screw-up and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. It seems whatever I decide, from where to live to what to wear, my dad thinks it’s the biggest mistake in my life. I can’t seem to do anything right to him. The chorus is the basis for the song and for how I feel. I can’t feel him caring for me anymore. I’ve tried for so long to be just like him and now all I want to do is be more like me and be less like you. I know he loves me and he would protect me from everything. But in doing that he is smothering me and destroying whatever it is I am. He has dreams of what I could be and where I could go. And I’m not going for those dreams anymore. He looks at me like I’m a broken crumpled person, without any purpose. And I can’t keep trying to make him happy or trying to be who he is. The worst part of all this, is that I know he went through all this when he was my age. His parents and my mom’s parents didn’t think they would be able to make it, when he dropped out of school. He disappointed a lot of people. I think that hurts the most. I would think he out of anyone would understand. But he doesn’t. And now I’ve become so numb.p=