NaNoWriMo disguised as NoJoMo?

It’s on!  November always seem to somehow get away from me, but I’m pretty determined to make this work this time.  Although I’m still way behind in the work for seminary.  Facebook is such a distraction.  So is this I’m sure.  I should be reading about docilitas, which I do find interesting and enjoyable, but my brain is just moving a little slower than normal.

I’m in Chicago for the weekend, visiting with my aunt and her family.  Its been nice not to have to cook or clean or do any of that stuff.  But they have a new puppy who needs a lot of attention.  There’s also a younger cousin who doesn’t quite grasp how much work I have to do.  She’s been okay, but still annoying at times.  I was watching the Yankee game last night and she kept switching the channels during the commercials, which is really distracting for me.  I was slightly annoyed by it but I tried to just let it go.  It was only for the last few innings.

Seminary is still going well, though as I said I’m behind from being sick and whatnot.  My biggest complaint is that so far a lot of what we’ve talked about in the worship classes has been hypothetical, ideal and not realistic in every church and situation.  You don’t always have a pastor and music leader who can (or are even willing) to dedicate two hours a week to each service, let alone more than that.  How do you deal with a situation like that?  "Well, you still want to strive for these models."  Great.  But that doesn’t help me cope when those models are completely falling apart.  Its not all the professors, really just one in particular.  Which has caused me NOT to sign up for another one of his classes in J-Term.  I just don’t want to deal with him.  Its frustrating because I’ve worked in those positions already and I’m aware that things are not always perfect the way he explains.  But he kinda refuses to acknowledge how to approach and deal with those problems.

My other issue with seminary is the lack of real conversation about how to reach non-Christians.  Again, its hypothetical and not always as applicable as they seem to think.  I know plenty of people who don’t acknowledge that God exists, let alone their need for him in their lives.  They don’t acknowledge that they are sinners in need for forgiveness.  They don’t acknowledge they are sinner deserving of a punishment they cannot achieve themselves; they need Christ to take the punishment.  But let’s backtrack to not believing in God’s existence.  The answer I constantly get from my professors is to point them to the Bible, which clearly proves his existence.  But those same people don’t acknowledge the Bible is anything more than a story made up to explain a faith.  Its not fact.  Its contradictory and full of errors.  Its not divinely inspired.  It would be the same thing as my writing a book claiming that I was a superhero, and when asked to prove it, merely pointing to the book and saying "Well, it says so right there."  But my professors kinda brush me off and one of them said "Oh, come on.  They can’t possibly claim all that."

So I’ve started to give up asking and explaining the problem.  Believing in God requires a leap of faith, believing in that which you cannot see, touch or measure explicitly.  There is a lot of supporting and circumstantial evidence, but nothing absolutely concrete.  I’m not getting into the theology of election and predestination and all that, but things only become concrete once God’s Holy Spirit has moved you to believe and you’ve taken that leap of faith.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t explain and defend our beliefs and faith (without forcing people to believe), but we don’t know who God will influence and touch.  We just need to continue to witness and share, which my professors and I do agree on.  But the tools and ways to do this is where we start to diverge and pull apart.  Its incredibly frustrating, but I’m not going to give up yet.

I’ve also been thinking about writing a novella.  I considered doing NaNoWriMo, but I didn’t have an idea about a story.  I didn’t want to just blindly write.  I wanted some kind of point and idea of where I was going.  I enjoy reading John’s explanation of his characters telling him their stories and I have no problem with that.  But none of the "characters" in my head are real enough for that.  They aren’t fully formed and I end up writing about things I have no idea about.  Which I know, so while sometimes I do write the things out to get them out of my head, I rarely continue them or share them.  They end up being more like wishes or dreams on how the world should be, rather than based in reality.  Their beginnings might be okay, but if I force them, they quickly become ridiculous and I hate writing more.  But I got an idea while driving to Chicago.  John’s been talking about writing what he knows.  He doesn’t feel comfortable writing about straight relationships because that’s not him.  Its not what he knows.  Its got me thinking about what I know.  I started thinking about a girl who always seems to end up close with the men in her life, but never romantically.  Or something like that.  Which I can relate to because that is kind of my life.  I do have romances and whatnot, but they always seem to end up fizzling down into friendships.  Or else initial crushes turn into friendships.  My longing for romance, but not the sappy $5 smut-book kind, echoes in this character.  I feel like this character is slowly showing herself to me, but hasn’t quite told me her name yet.  It might be Maggie, but I’m not sure.  We do have some differences, which I know already.  Her mother was not a part of her life.  It was just her and her dad.  But I didn’t sense she was upset by this.  It was just her life.  She’s not really a tomboy, but not overly girly either.  No siblings.  I don’t know.  I haven’t gotten much more out of her, and she hasn’t even me a good starting point.  I don’t know how to introduce her, or how to write her story.  Should I write it from my perspective, an outside unseen viewer or directly from her?  I also have no idea where her story ends, or what she enjoys.  Music is cool, but not a love as it for me.  I’d like to write about her, but I really have no idea where or how to start.  Maybe more will come as time passes.