my love for you is deathless

Its snowing again. It looks so pretty and wonderful. I was listening to ‘Ashokan Farewell’ on the way out to my car and it was just perfect. I love that piece so much. It was written by Jay Unger and Molly Mason for the PBS Civil War special that was done a few years ago. The special became a huge hit and so did the soundtrack for it. I must have been in junior high or something, but I remember sitting and watching it with my father in the evenings. He eventually bought the CD. Its just amazing. I watched part of the special again in high school when I took a Civil War history elective. When I was learning how to play violin, this was the song I learned.

With the snow falling softly and the hot cocca warming my hands, it was just a perfect moment. You know those moments. Its those moments that you want to last forever, but never do. I wish I could capture the feelings of that moment, the sounds, smells, sights. Its those moments you never see coming. Those moments that to the rest of the world may seem inconsiquential, but to you, they are priceless beyond belief. They are the moments that sustain me when things are just odd.

And I bought WoW today. I’m joining the craze. I’ve got a few friends who are into it, and one who is offering to be my ‘mentor.’ She’s great and I’m so looking forward to it all. Hopefully I’ll be able to set all that up tonight. I’m so excited!!

Back to Ashokan for a moment…
In the TV special, the tune was actually used as background music to a letter that was read. The CD has both recordings of the music and letter and just the music alone. The timing is perfect and the guy reading the letter has a great voice. It makes me cry everytime I hear it. So instead of lyrics, here is the letter.

A week before the battle of Bull Run Sullivan Ballou, a Major in the 2nd Rhode Island Volunteers, wrote home to his wife in Smithfield.

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July 14,1861
Camp Clark, Washington DC

Dear Sarah:

The indications are very strong that we shall move in a few days – perhaps tomorrow. And lest I should not be able to write you again I feel impelled to write a few lines that may fall under your eye when I am no more.

I have no misgivings about, or lack of confidence in the cause in which I am engaged, and my courage does not halt or falter. I know how American Civilization now leans upon the triumph of the government and how great a debt we owe to those who went before us through the blood and suffering of the Revolution. And I am willing – perfectly willing – to lay down all my joys in this life, to help maintain this government, and to pay that debt.

Sarah, my love for you is deathless, it seems to bind me with mighty cables that nothing but omnipotence can break; and yet my love of Country comes over me like a strong wind and bears me irresistibly with all those chains to the battlefield. The memory of all the blissful moments I have enjoyed with you come crowding over me, and I feel most deeply grateful to God and you, that I have enjoyed them for so long. And how hard it is for me to give them up and burn to ashes the hopes and future years, when, God willing, we might still have lived and loved together, and see our boys grown up to honorable manhood around us.

If I do not return, my dear Sarah, never forget how much I loved you, nor that when my last breath escapes me on the battle field, it will whisper your name…

Forgive my many faults, and the many pains I have caused you. How thoughtless, how foolish I have sometimes been!…

But, 0 Sarah, if the dead can come back to this earth and flit unseen around those they love, I shall always be with you, in the brightest day and in the darkest night… always, always. And when the soft breeze fans your cheek, it shall be my breath, or the cool air your throbbing temple, it shall be my spirit passing by.

Sarah do not mourn me dead; think I am gone and wait for me, for we shall meet again…

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Sullivan Ballou was killed a week later at the 1st Battle of Bull Run.

Ashokan Farewell ~ Jay Unger & Molly Mason