Memories

There are things associated with home.  Memories.  I don’t take phots often.  Its just not my family’s way.  We’ve never been a huge camera family, to pull out a camera at important moments.  It has its pros and cons.  Important moments in my life are not always captured in images, but in my memories.  Of how I felt, or how things appeared to me.  Its not necessarily how they were exactly, but how my memory has choosen to remember them.  I remember the sounds, the smells, the feelings.  There are somethings I wish I had photos of.  Because while I can remember those moments, I cannot share them with others.  If I had a photo, I would be able to share them much easier.  In that spirit, here are some photos I’ve taken recently to remind me of events, of special moments or beautiful scenes.  I’m no photographer and my camera is a simple point-and-click, but these photos can still one day let me share these moments with my loved ones.

I’ve posted this picture already, but it falls into that category of memories.  I will remember how the Christmas trees looked and how the lounges smelled of burning wood fires.  I will remember the enjoyable conversations with my grandmothers, though I couldn’t tell you the topic of most of them.  I will also remember the feeling of loneliness.  Of wishing I was sharing this with a certain someone.  I’m not sure Manny would appreciate this place the way I would have wanted him to, the way I would need him to.  I’m not sure that makes sense or is even fair to him, but its true nonetheless. Newfie absolutely would have, and I found myself longing for his presence.  I did enjoy the trip, but there is still a bittersweet lingering in my thoughts when I think of it.

This is part of our living room decorations.  Mom bought a new tree this year, fake but bigger than our other fake tree.  It was lovely and I enjoyed spending evenings in the living room, the only light from the Christmas decorations and the fire.

These are two of my favorite ornaments, though I have many more.  They MUST be on the tree each year or my holiday is not complete.

Your eyes are not deceiving you.  That is indeed a soda can on top of the Christmas tree.  It was a tradition started a few years ago with some friends.  We’ve never had a good tree topper until then, so this has become part of our tradition.  We don’t use the same can each year, so its different as time passes.  Still it is another importat part of the holiday.  The decorations are not complete until it is in place.

 As I drove back to school earlier this month, I was stunned by the beautiful view of the Catskills.  I have seen it with less haze, but there is something amazing about the definition that is present.  For me, this is part of my journey back home to my apartment.  It is the farewell to the mountains of the east.

This is what greeted me on my deck when I returned home.  For nearly two weeks, it snowed non-stop.  The snow got even deeper, but has since melted and packed itself down.  As much as I hate brushing 3 inches off my car every time I need it, there is something peaceful and serene about the snowfall.  It makes things quiet and forces everyone to slow down.  The constant snowfall keeps everything in a state of clean white purity.  The snow stopped earlier this week and I can again here the bustle of cars on the road, dirtied by the exhaust.  I’m grateful for the nicer weather, but find myself missing the quietness.

A view from the dock on Lake Erie.  This is lake-effect snow at its best.  It prevents the viewer, either through a camera lens or with the naked eye, from seeing very far into the distance.  Rather than finding this disconcerting, I find myself feeling more protected.  Protected from the outside world and far-off terrors.  I am in my own space, and those who enter that space are not unreachable.  They are close, touchable, interactable.

I really do miss the snow.