livin’ just to find emotion

Today was dubbed “Hokie Remembrance Day.” The Facebook community choose today as the day that college students across the States would show our support to the VA Tech students by wearing orange and maroon. There was also a moment of silence at noon today to remember the 32 victims. (Yes, I said 32, not 33.)

I don’t have any VA Tech stuff, and I really only have one orange shirt. I wore it today with a maroon pullover. I know that not everyone has orange and maroon at their disposal, let alone VA Tech shirts. But did you know that on a campus of about 5,000 students I saw not one other student, teacher or staff wearing orange, maroon or anything? I’m okay with being happy and moving on with my life. Each day I cry a little; it’s my process for dealing with this. But I’m not going to lie when I say that I’m pissed that NO ONE in orange or maroon. Granted I didn’t see every single student on campus, but I did actually get out of the music building and still saw no orange or maroon. Not ONCE! Its a beautiful day in Fredonia, one of the first in months. There are students playing on the lawns, taking walks, roller blading and enjoying the sunshine. I’m fine with that. I enjoyed the sunshine too. I’m also fine with not discussing the tragedy in every single class. I want something else to concentrate on. I want something else to think about and work on. But I’m angry that my college is acting like nothing happened, like no one here is remembering or even acknowledging what happened.

I remember after 9/11, a lot of people started wearing those American flag pins. It was in remembrance, in honor of what happened. It didn’t have to start a discussion, or tears or anything. It was just nice to see that other people remembered, too. I almost felt like I was the only one on campus who cared at all. I don’t really believe that’s true, but it did make me feel that way all day. This may be horrible, but I felt ashamed of my campus, of my school, of my friends. Is this area of the world in such a bubble that no one cares at all?

I’m just holding on to the hope thats not the case.

Just a small town girl
Livin’ in a lonely world
She took the midnight train
Goin’ anywhere
Just a city boy
Born and raised in South Detroit
He took the midnight train
Goin’ anywhere

A singer in a smokey room
A smell of wine and cheap perfume
For a smile they can share the night
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin’ just to find emotion
Hidin’, somewhere in the night

Workin’ hard to get my fill
Everybody wants a thrill
Payin’ anything to roll the dice
Just one more time
Some will win
Some will lose
Some were born to sing the blues
Oh, the movie never ends
It goes on and on and on and on

Strangers waiting
Up and down the boulevard
Their shadows searching
In the night
Streetlights, people
Livin’ just to find emotion
Hidin’, somewhere in the night

Don’t stop believin’
Hold on to the feelin’
Streetlights, people
Don’t stop believin’
Hold on
Streetlights, people

Don’t Stop Believin’ ~ Journey