i’ll burn this whole world down

I’m so tired of all this. The weekend had good and bad moments. The bad were horrid and the good were wonderful. I don’t know what to do about Mel anymore. I’m really not sure that I can continue to live here and live like this for the rest of the year. I’m not sure I’m strong enough to deal with this for that long. I know Jenn’s getting tired of dealing with Mel and I. I don’t think she’s siding with Mel or me; she’s just trying to survive somehow. I don’t blame her for doing that, but its tough because it makes me feel like my closest friend here isn’t supporting me. I hate that she has to be in the middle of this.

So what are my options? I could sink to Mel’s level and start striking back. I’m not going to do that, but it is an option. I could continue the way that I’m doing and just ignoring her, ignoring everything she does to hurt me. Manny thinks I should try talking to her, but I don’t think its going to work. I did have a talk with Biff about the whole situation. She thinks that no one has ever stood up to Mel and told her no. She said that if I were to and Mel tried to complain, she and Dana would back me up. But even if I did try and talk to Mel, I don’t think it would really change anything. I don’t think it would get her to change.

Why does it have to be me though? Why do I have to be the one who goes through this hell? I haven’t known her the longest. I haven’t been here as long as anyone else. I don’t have the time or the energy to get into this with her.

So I’m left with maybe only one option. Move out.

Milk it for all it’s worth.
Make sure you get there first.
The apple of your eye,
The rotten core inside.
We are the prisoners.
Things couldn’t get much worse.
I’ve had it up to here,
You know your end is near.

You had to have it all.
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard,
You’ll get what you deserve.
When all is said and done,
I will be the one
To leave you in the misery,
And hate what you’ve become.

Intoxicated eyes,
The love and myth, that life.
You should have learned by now,
I’ll burn this whole world down.
I need some piece of mind,
No fear of what’s behind.
You think you’ve won this fight,
You’ve only lost your mind.

You had to have it all
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard
You’ll get what you deserve
When all is said and done
I will be the one
To leave you in the misery
And hate what you’ve become

Hold me down.

You had to have it all
Well have you had enough?
You greedy little bastard
You’ll get what you deserve
When all is said and done
I will be the one
To leave you in the misery
And hate what you’ve become

Heaven help you.

Had Enough ~ Breaking Benjamin