i’d cheat destiny just to be near you

The older I get, the more I believe in the idea of a greater design. I suppose its more that I believe in the chaos theroy. The smallest action can change everything. Think of the butterfly affect, which says if a butterfly flaps its wings in September, it has an impact on the hurricane patterns in June. Its not the domino theory, its way more complex than that. Think of a line, a single line. Then imagine it splitting into two lines, than into four, sixteen, eighty-two….you get the idea. The result at the end is chaos, an infinite number of lines. But there is a pattern.

I can’t explain it well. But I do believe there is a larger picture. When I decide to sit at work typing this entry, it does something. Maybe as random as the number of entries on OD increases, or maybe as obvious as someone reading it. But there are an infinite number of ways that my decision affects people, life, the universe. The butterfly doesn’t cause the hurricane, but it effects it.

I think its an interesting image. And the idea that even with chaos, there is a pattern, something familiar.

Next random thought…..

I’ve read Revalations, and for those who haven’t figured it out already, I’m a Christian and I believe the Bible. (Although that is a whole nother topic of a different color. Let’s keep it simple. I believe the Bible.) There are people who pray for the world to get better, for there to be peace. Our president says it all the time. “Pray for peace. Bleh, bleh, bleh.” And it seriously makes me laugh. Cause I think its pointless. I don’t believe things are going to get better. I really don’t. I don’t believe there is going to be peace in the Middle East or anywhere for that matter. Its not that I’m praying for war, death and destruction. But I’d rather pray for something more realistic. The Bible says that things will get worse, a lot worse, before Jesus returns. And as earlier stated, I believe in the Bible. So I don’t really see a point in praying for peace. I’d actually become very worried if there was peace.

I’ve read the Left Behind Series and I’ve studied a lot of the end time prophecy. I’m not saying I’m an expert or that I know whats going to happen. What I will say is that no one really knows whats going to happen. Who knows if Revelations should be taken literally or figuratively? And who knows the order of events? Perhaps the Left Behind Series is excatly right. Perhaps they’re completely off in left field.

My point is, to me, praying for peace is like praying for time to rewind. Its not going to happen. Things are going to get worse, and I’d much rather pray for something like friends, support, comfort, and whatever else I’ll need to deal with what is going to happen.

I don’t know how far away the end is. I have friends who believe it is very near. I have other friends who think we are starting to get there, but probably not in their lifetime. And who knows? Either one could be right.
Or, and I’ll admit this, both could be wrong and we’re all destined to be reborn as sea slugs on Mars, but thats another story.

Alright, enough random thoughts for now.

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And the light’s always red in the rear-view
Desperately close to a coffin of hope
I’d cheat destiny just to be near you
If this is giving up, then I’m giving up
If this is giving up, then I’m giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And I’m thinking ’bout calling on Jesus
‘Cuz love doesnt hurt so I know I’m not falling in love
I’m just falling to pieces
And if this is giving up then I’m giving up
If this is giving up then I’m giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Maybe I’m not up for being a victim of love
All my resistance will never be distance enough

Driving away from the wreck of the day
And it’s finally quiet in my head
Driving alone, finally on my way home
to the comfort of my bed
And if this is giving up, then I’m giving up
If this is giving up, then I’m giving up, giving up
On love, On love

Wreck of the Day ~ Anna Nalick