i don’t think i can look at this the same

Manny and I have been talking more and more lately. He tells me about his movie and how things are going. I tell him about school and whats bothering me. We’ve both been there for each other a lot lately. We starting to talk almost every day or maybe every other day. Its not really a bad thing, but its a thing to think about. This was how some of our past attempts at relationships have started. We’ve been down that road and it doesn’t work. But something is somewhat different this time. And that’s the worrying thing. I’m afraid my fear of ending up with him is going to come true.

I’m also afraid that I’m leading him on more than I mean to. I lean on him and I support him, but do we do that too much? Should we be getting away from each other? Or perhaps we are meant to end up together and this is just the natural progression. Its just very hard. I don’t want to mess up the amazing friendship that Manny and I have, but sometimes I wonder if he hopes for something more. I called Settle today to try and feel out if he knew anything, but he was tired and focused on his school work. I should try Russ, but I also want to believe that Manny truly has let it all go and I have nothing to worry about.

I’m just still unsure of the pure definition of my feelings for Manny. I love him and adore him and would do anything for him. But my motivations behind that are fuzzy. And I don’t know what kind of love excatly it is that we share. Its highly confusing and frustrating and yet also comforting.

I don’t know whats going to happen, but I know I don’t want to hurt Manny again and I don’t want to be hurt by him again. I do know that I can count on him when I need to and that he can count on me. And our relationship is something very special. I just wish I could figure out what was going on.

A hundred days had made me older
since the last time that I’ve saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder
and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me

The miles just keep rollin
as the people either way to say hello
I’ve heard this life is overrated
but I hope that it gets better as we go

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Everything I know,
and anywhere I go
it gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls,
when it’s all said and done
it get hard but it won’t take away my love

I’m here without you baby
but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby
but your still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me

Here Without You ~ 3 Doors Down