give me something worth living for

speak to me tell me something so typical a lullabye or something miserable something that will keep me up at night

I dreamed of you last night. I was playing Rummy in the lounge. You came up behind me and stood there silently. I didn’t have to look and I knew it was you. The lounge was suddenly empty and we were alone. You had no excuse only apologies. I can’t take you back. Why can you not understand that? You hurt something in me that was so sacred, I will never be the same. I’ve stopped hating you, if that makes you feel better. Does it? Do you even remember me? When you hold her in bed? Do you remember holding me? Do you remember how my hair smelled? How I felt in your arms? I remember. I remember how you smelled. I remember feeling safe in your arms. I’ve never felt safe since then. I don’t trust anyone anymore. Its not like I ever trusted before. But now its worse. I hear that song going round in my head. I can’t ask anyone for help. I can never trust again. Are you happy? You are the reason. I don’t even trust myself anymore. I’m a little girl locked in the cellar. The key is made of a broken heart. No one has been able to put the heart back together and set me free. I feel like I’ve lost everything when you’re gone. Does it make you happy to know I’ve lost my life? You left a shell behind. I almost wish you would comeback, but I don’t want you back. You would hurt me again.

So I walk on. I continue to talk. But I stopped breathing the moment you left