First of the Lasts

Today was my last day at the title agency.  For some reason, its making it all very real.  Its been the last big hurdle I’ve had to vault before really believing its happening.  I’m moving back to New York.  I have a boyfriend there.  I’ll be in New York again.
I’m excited, and I’ve been excited for some time now.  But now I’m sad too.  Saying goodbye, or even see you later, is tough and sad.  I don’t leave this place like last time – angry, depressed, abandoned, and hurt.  I love things here.  I’ve grown to love the skyline and sounds and the people.  I will miss things, and I already am mourning the loss of these possibilities.  Of course, new and different doors will be opened in New York, but that doesn’t mean I will lose out on what is happening here.  I’ll miss David & Sarah & Andrew & Baby 2.0; Laura & Grace; Donna, Scott and Amy, Sara & Paul, Darrin – so many people I’ll miss.  Today has been the hardest because its been the longest and comes on the heels of a hard discussion with Manny the previous night.  We’re both wiped out today from it.  I don’t want to record it out right now, but it was tough and unplanned.
And so I’m sad tonight.  And tired.  And hoping to sleep well.