exaudi orationem meam

When I was in college, there was a man who escaped from a nearby prison and started a state-wide manhunt.   He shot and killed two state troopers and wounded a third.  He was on the loose for months.  My feelings on the situation were pretty cut and dried.  He needed to be caught, and put down.  I had a few friends who were locals who had different ideas.  Its an area where the cops are not trusted or relied upon to do anything.  There were T-shirts and posters saying "Run, Bucky, Run" and other ways of showing their support of this fugitive.  I was astounded at how much support people were giving a man who had killed two people.  But Lulorial, a local friend, pointed out to me that they didn’t really know if he had shot those people or not.  And when I calmed down a bit, I realized she was right.  He was definitely a suspect, and I still thought he needed to be caught.  Still, our laws say "Innocent until PROVEN guilty" not the other way around.  She and I still clashed over whether or not he should be caught, but I started to see and understand how important that freedom is.  We are innocent until proven guilty.  The end of the story is not important, because that isn’t where I learned the lesson.  Innocent until proven guilty.  I’m not one of those people who stands beside suspects and perpetrators, demanding they be released or other nonsense.  But a suspect is not always the guilty party.  Innocent until proven guilty.

I didn’t track all of the Casey Anthony story or trial.  It really only re-captured my attention when her verdict came down.  The entire country has erupted with indignation that she will be set free.  There are people screaming for her blood.  Still, twelve citizens determined that she was innocent of killing her daughter.  Whether she really did it or not, we may never know.  But this is our legal system.  OJ Simpson is another case that had people screaming at the verdict.  We don’t know what really happened.  They were not proven guilty.

Today, violence and terror ripped through my city.  A suspect in seven deaths led police on a wild car chase, firing off a gun and putting thousands of people’s lives at risk with his actions.  It ended a few minutes ago at a house not far from here.  The suspect had barricaded himself in a house with hostages.  Jared and I sat out on my patio watching the police helicopter circle the scene and listening to the breaking news.  (It was REALLY close.)  I was now thinking more like Lulorial had concerning Bucky, not entirely, but a lot closer than Jared was thinking.  Innocent until proven guilty.

It ended when the suspect took his own life.  Jared was cheering, and while I’m happy that the situation ended, I’m still saddened by the loss of life.  He was drinking, and as such, his intelligence level was dropping.  I think I was starting to annoy him as much as he annoyed me.  I know I enjoy playing devil’s advocate.  Its something my father has taught me to do, look at a situation from all angles.  Jared was spouting off about how people like this man (who was supposedly mental disturbed and off his medication) should be locked up away from the public, and kept off meds in the first place.  "They get so messed up with the medication they can’t stand to be off it.  Its just not right."  I argued back.  "So if there is medication and a means to make them a contributing member of society, that shouldn’t be used?  We should just lock them up anyways?"  He then claimed that he was bipolar, although had never been diagnosed, and people just had to work their way through it all.  Which says to me that he’s not really bipolar.  I don’t like to be judgmental, but bipolarism isn’t just something you fight your way through.  I kept my trap shut because I really didn’t want to have that argument with him while he was drinking.  He also said it was the best way for it all to end.  While it could have ended a lot worse, with a higher death toll, I didn’t agree that it was the best way and said so.  "The best way would have been if he could have been caught and prosecuted."  Jared was getting annoyed, but I wasn’t going to pretend to believe something I don’t or just agree in silence.

He got defensive and said that I never agree with him.  That no matter what he says I always take the opposite side.  "If I say tails, you’ll always say heads."  I told him that wasn’t true, but I wasn’t going to lie to him or agree to something that is completely against what I think.  Talking with people who disagree with me has been one of the most rewarding things in my life.  You learn so much more about yourself when you have to defend your beliefs and positions.  I learned it was okay to say you didn’t know or you were unsure.  I learned it was okay to change your mind and see something from another point of view.

As we watched the video of the car chase, Jared berated the police for not just taking the guy out when they had the chance.  I told him police never want to use deadly force if they don’t have to.  I don’t think he really understood what deadly force was or even what a police state is really like.  The police wanted to end the situation, not escalate it.  They have SOP for situations like this to prevent unneeded deaths.  What would have happened if they all just started shooting at the chase car?  They aren’t all going to be sharpshooters, and bullets might miss the target and hit an innocent bystander.  What would have happened if the suspect had shot back?  He could have killed a cop or an innocent bystander.  It was amazing that more people were not injured or killed in tonight’s events.

I’m sure I’ll be in a very small minority who is actually sad that the suspect took his own life.  There were eight people killed today, including the suspect.  Its going down as the worst massacre in the area, although I’m sure many people will only count seven.  Either way, the families of all the victims will never get answers to what happened.  I don’t know if victims’ families ever get answers in reality, but now there will be nothing.  The only people who know what happened in those two houses are all dead.  Even the suspect’s family will never answers.  But, like I said, even if he had lived, there still may not answers.  Still, loss of life is never something to be celebrated and it is something I refuse to celebrate and rejoice over.  I just can’t do it.

Am I glad tonight’s events are over?  Absolutely.  I was terrified to go to sleep.  I was even thinking about taking off for Detroit and staying with my uncle or going at least far enough that I couldn’t see the police helicopter and all the lights.  Its horrifying when something like this happens so close.  The house the suspect took over with the hostages was a house at random.  It could have easily been my place as much as anyone else’s.  But it is ended and I can sleep knowing this at least is done.  Although – there is still the proverbial Acme piano waiting above my head all the time.  But still.  The immediate and imminent danger is over.  Still, I’m sad.  I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to hear about a person’s death and be happy about it.  And in all honesty, I don’t think I want to ever be like that.

May God have mercy on the souls taken tonight, ALL of the souls.

Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Te decet hymnus Deus, in Sion,
et tibi reddetur votum in Ierusalem.
Exaudi orationem meam;
ad te omnis caro veniet.
Requiem æternam dona eis, Domine,
et lux perpetua luceat eis.
Grant them eternal rest, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.
A hymn becomes you, O God, in Zion,
and to you shall a vow be repaid in Jerusalem.
Hear my prayer;
to you shall all flesh come.
Eternal rest grant unto them, O Lord,
and let perpetual light shine upon them.