every night being fed through a grinder
Twelve in12
Reading
Queen’s Play ~ Dorothy Dunnett
Pride and Prejudice ~ Jane Austen
Myst: The Book of Ti’ana ~ Rand Miller
Finished
Mirror, Mirror ~ Gregory Macguire
Witchling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Changeling ~ Yasmine Galenorn
Something Wicked ~ Catherine Mulvany
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ~ J.K. Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows ~ J.K. Rowling
Myst: Book of Atrus ~ Rand Miller, Robyn Miller and David Wingrove
The Game of Kings ~ Dorothy Dunnett
The Other Boleyn Girl ~ Philippa Gregory
So I don’t have a ton of time for a long entry, although this may end up being longer than I anticipate. I’ve been working insane hours. Phil and Jason had a fight at work, which I’ll write about later. But being a nice girl and good friend, I ended up taking a shift I wouldn’t have taken otherwise. Which I just realized actually got me three I.O.U.’s all in one shot! But the end result was an 18-hour shift on Saturday which ended at 3am, followed by Sunday morning church, a bridal shower and back at work on only a few hours of sleep. Monday was a visit to the doctor, who is highly concerned with the sudden loss of strength in my right arm. Its been over the past two weeks. I mentioned to heavy lifting and moving that I did, but she agreed it should be getting better, not worse. And I shouldn’t be losing strength as the days go by. So there may be another MRI in my future, and more tests. All I care about is being able to play my oboe. If I can’t do that and I can’t play the piano, I will start to cry and possibly never stop. I slept for a few more precious hours before returning to work and another overnight laundry shift. It was supposed to be about 9 hours total. Ended up more like 12 hours. Which then meant I only got 90 minutes of sleep before I was back at the res. This time I had to look professional, and take a van of people around to the camps, giving a tour and explaining anything they asked. They were execs, volunteers, well-placed interns and big donors who wanted to see what all their work in the City was going into. I was very worried, thinking I wouldn’t be able to answer their questions, especially on the amount of sleep I’d had. But I surprised myself at how much I knew. Somehow I got one of the 15-passenger vans that was nearly full, so there were plenty of questions. But everyone was very nice and we had a good time. When I didn’t know an answer, I was honest about my ignorance and tried to direct them to the correct person to ask when they returned to the larger group. They seemed to understand and appreciate my honesty. But by the time we finished the tour and they finished asking all their questions of me, I was beyond exhausted and my bureaucratic smile was really starting to fad. I begin a small whining campaign and finally was released from work. But there were a few more things I needed to take care of in the office and at the warehouse and didn’t leave the res until 2pm. I have some time to sleep now before doing another overnight laundry shift and my hero, Tom, has taken my Wednesday night shift. So I’ll be able to catch up on my sleep and errands properly on Wednesday. I need my watch fixed, a bank trip or two, Goodwill to drop off shoes and clothes, the post office and who knows where else. Not to mention I really need to talk to Phil about life in general a little bit. He has been majorly stressed out the past few days, which I understand. So I’ve been holding back on some bitching and supportiveness I want to give him. The bitching started to come through a little today, but I hope he appreciates how tired I was and how long I’d been Happy Friendly Face for the tour. He’s a good boss and a good guy, so I’m hoping it will all be alright.
Anyways, I’ve got about a nine hour window where I don’t need to run errands for Dad (or myself). All I must do is eat and sleep, before reporting to work at 9pm. Right now the worst thing that has come out of all this was the pack of cigarettes I bought. More on why later, but I got a kind I don’t really like, so I’m less inclined to have one unless I’m desperate. When you’re desperate enough for one, you’ll smoke anything. But for pleasure and enjoyment, you want what you like. It’s my coping tool for right now, which is better than the other options of being Major Bitch to those who really don’t deserve it.
I’ll catch up with my Favs soon. I have read the entries, but just haven’t been able to form sentences to respond! PS – Ten life points to whoever knows what the title of this song means!
I dreamt the red whale song
Hold the moment strong
Then the moment’s gone
I never can get enough
Again without the words
Again without the someone who will
Afford me some
This is me hangin’ on
I once read a mind ’til dawn
Let the poem hum on emotion’s
rolled tongue
I’ve never had enough
Are we okay? Are we open?
Again without the someone
So this is me hangin’ on
I’m hangin on
And this is my world
Now I’m spending every night
Being fed through a grinder
The price for falling down
I’m never through paying
I might be meat for minds
I may be numbered…hung
I might succumb
This is my world
And this is me hangin on
0157:H7 ~ I Mother Earth