DownOnly AshesShe Paints Me Blue

Let’s get drunk
You can drive us to the harbor
Wish upon a star but
Do you know what stars are?
Balls of fire, burning up the black space
Falling from the landscape
Exploding in the face of God

Let’s get crazy,
Talk about our big plans
Places that you’re going
Places that I haven’t been
Build my walls up
Concrete castle
Keep this kingdom free of hassle, yeah

But all you said echos in the emptiness
All I want, but you can’t change this loneliness
Look at what you’ve found, I’m falling down

Taste the saline rolling down your cheekbone
Tell me that you’re alone, tell me on the telephone
Feel your heart it breaks within your chest now
Try to get some rest now, sleeps not coming easy for a while, child

But all I said echos in the emptiness
All I want, but you can’t change this loneliness
Look at what you’ve found, I’m falling down

Down ~ Something Corporate

This song starts with a gentle piano riff that sounds like waves lapping on the pier I sometimes go to. Its a rocking feeling, gentle but worried. I love the verses. They make me think about Mike and talking to him about all kinds of different things, like the song says Places that you’re going places that I haven’t been. And with the relationship even though we are getting close, I still have walls up to protect myself from what he might do. And we are trying to keep the relationship from getting to complicated. And the line about sleeps not coming easy for a while is really true with this. The chorus really applies as well. When its quiet at night, I can hear things he’s said to me during the day. But even so, there is still this loneliness in me, especially when he’s not around. But it still makes me think of him.

Piece by piece, and bit by bit
I’ll break this down for you, real slow
But I can’t whisper all of this
And I can’t seem to let this go
So I’ll watch the matches, turn to ashes

I can tell as you turn
I smell the sulfur so clear
And fire’s a beautiful sound
And the wings that you burn
Turn to ashes my dear
And ashes just fall to the ground
Yeah we’re only ashes

Part by part and inch by inch
You’ll have your mile when its through
Incinerate whats left of this
And torch the part of me that’s you
So I’ll watch the matches, turn to ashes

I can tell as you turn
I smell the sulfur so clear
And fire’s a beautiful sound
And the wings that you burn
Turn to ashes my dear
And ashes just fall to the ground
Yeah we’re only ashes

Only Ashes ~ Something Corporate

When Mike and I are talking, we don’t obsess over it all, but we break it down so we are very clear with each other. I don’t ever wonder what he means. Even still there are certain things I’m not really ready to tell. I’ve practicing, but whispering them at him while he’s sleeping, but I can’t; not just yet. This weekend I found out how much of a pyro he is. He kept lighting matches and small sticks on fire and watching them while we were talking. So I kept smelling the sulfur from the matches. The chorus kept running through my head because of the line fire’s a beautiful sound. We were just sitting enjoying the fire and the sounds of the fire, popping and cracking were really wonderful. I recited the chorus for him and he agreed it fit the situation.

Tonight I watch the lights go out in your house
Wondering how I could get so deep
And you can still get sleep
In vain I blame my trembling on the cold air
But I can’t hide that I’ve relied on you
Like yellow does on blue

And you’re my good feeling
I’m kneeling inside her room
She paints me blue
And you are my reason for breathing
Inside her room
She paints me blue again

Atlanta started raining on me
And teenage love was underground
Tonight I break the surface
Atlanta started raining on me
A New York girl was claiming me
And naming me and destiny get nervous

And you’re my good feeling
I’m kneeling inside her room
she paints me blue
And you are my reason for breathing
Inside her room
She paints me blue again

She Paints Me Blue ~ Something Corporate

The song starts off with a moving shifting piano rift and soaring guitar line. Its sometimes amazing to me how after Mike and I have long talks, he can still roll over and just go sleep. It was so cold this weekend and so when I would start shaking, I’d just tell him I was cold. I don’t think he believes me. I’m starting to realize that I am relying on him for little things. I’m trying hard not to because we aren’t that serious, but I am. And he’s letting me but still keeping me independent. He makes me so happy and gives me this amazing feeling all the way down to my feet. He hasn’t become the thing that keeps me alive yet, because I haven’t been suicidal. But he’s certainly helped me get through some things, whether he knows it or not. He says that my eyes turned really blue this weekend, where they usually have more green. So this song has caught my attention. The line about a New York girl was claiming me and naming me and destiny get nervous makes me think about me. He’s not in Atlanta, but I’m starting to feel like I can claim him as something thats a part of me and he won’t get spooked and run away. I have nicknames for him and even he said that there is something different between him and me that he’s never had before. And not just the usual no two relationships are the same. He sees something else and he’s really not sure what it is. I think its making him nervous. I know I am.