deprecated love

I’ve messsed things up again
Letting my dreams get in the way
Taking all these emotions way out of context
We don’t match and things won’t change
Like a field burning beautiful and angry
We descend from a mind-created love
Falling down with ropes around our legs
Ropes made of words and firelit nights
Nights that seemed so simple and serene
Lacking in complications and malfuctions
Maybe I was too naive and you too blind
Barbed sheets absorbed us and our pain
In that ancient hour I had what you craved
You had the antitoxin I didn’t know I lacked
But the moment has passed and I’m standing alone
I can’t tolerate your despicable pity
Your gray smile and pathetic justification
My maniacal rage is not directed at you
It’s an introverted bitterness and fury
For the immense affection I had for you
So relinquish the hold you have over me
Let my artifical dreams disintegrate into ash
And leave me here guilty with my tears and memories

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July 20, 2005

MJL