Crazy Me

I so fail at this whole NoJoMo thing.  I just have nothing that I really want to write about right now.  I found out the guy I’ve been messaging on okcupid just canceled his account cause he started seeing someone.  We’ve been messaging for about 2 months or so, and I’m not really heartbroken over HIM.  He was nice, but not exactly my type.  Even so, there’s a part of my soul that screams "Why not me?"

I’ve been struggling a lot with ridiculous… anxiety of some sort.  I have two bags of garbage that need to out to the dumpster.  But I already took out garbage this afternoon and I don’t want people to think I have that much garbage.  Because, of course, they keep track of how much garbage I throw in that huge dumpster each week.  I’m a little nuts.  I don’t know why it bothers me so much but I cannot take those two bags out right now.  And in the meantime, there’s more garbage accumulating so by the time its acceptable for me to take those bags out, there will be more garbage waiting.  Wow.  Writing that out really makes me sound crazy.

I cannot seem to get into planning Advent season.  I have a couple little ideas, and the Candlelight service is pretty much done.  But the rest of the Advent season is still a pile of papers.  And working nights at the hotel makes office hours difficult.  I ended up buying a large file folder box that I can carry all my church paperwork in.  Which I really like and I definitely think it was a good idea.  But there’s another part of my mind that knows its just procrastination.  And I’m so exhausted right now, but I really want to take that garbage out except I can’t cause I’m crazy.  *sigh*