blinking through the truth, he longs for old lies

So I’ve come up with a new plan. Amazon Warriors. They were women who traveled in packs and only dealt with men to procreate and then kicked them out.

I could live like that…

Ok maybe not, but sometimes i wish i could make the males all disappear for a while and stop playing with my head. I suppose though, if guys disappeared women wouldn’t have as much to bitch about or to blame everything on. Still men suck.

And American Red Cross men really suck. They don’t want my blood but NY Blood Center will take it. I’m getting it sucked out then pumped back in on Friday. Won’t that be fun. Hopefully my blood pressure will stay up. I should prolly just call Manny if it starts to fall. So confusing, so many things that just don’t make sense. Hurts my head. Makes me hit my computer. I swear I’m turning into cave woman I’m so upset right now. I can’t form full sentences. I should go back to work and sort this all out at some point. It really needs to be sorted out somehow. Preferably without him sitting next to me adding in points everyonce in a while. E-mails, Ims, and phone calls are our ways of communication and we wonder why our relationship doesn’t work.

He has reminded me again how different guys and girls are. I don’t know how guys can just screw and forget. They are like robotic machines with no emotions. And then they wonder why girls call them cold-hearted. Huh! Boys are stupid.

And yes I’m generalizing.

But how can a guy flirt like crazy with you and then tell you he doesn’t care about you at all? I don’t even know how girls can do that to guys, except that I know they are usually lying or exacting revenge.

I just wish my good moods could last a little longer than half an hour. It would be nice to wake up and go to sleep having smiled the entire day. Oh well, at least I can dream. Too bad I seem to lack imagination lately. But truth is stranger than fiction. And no fiction story could have been as strange as my weekend. Who knew I would be picking up boys at the pool hall?

**sigh**

Eighteen more minutes and then I can go home.

maybe when the room is empty
maybe when the bottles full
maybe when the door gets broke down
love can break in
maybe when I’m done with thinking
maybe you can think me whole
maybe when I’m done with endings
this can begin…