Always Her

I was thinking, maybe I could have made it better to talk to them…but I know that I have nothing in common with them. Different types of people, I guess. Because while they were cutting off the head of their Claw-Machine prize, I was wondering if the stars were out.

They try to make me happy, and succeed only in driving a splinter deeply into my heart.

Here, let me take off my shirt so you can be sure to get my heart.

Whatever you said to her, how ever you kissed her. It will never be the same as when you say it to me. Can you look in my eyes and not see her there too? We are so similiar. Can you even tell us apart? I am not her. I will never be her. You are you and you are more than I think I deserve. Never seeing me. You are only seeing her. How can I forget her, when it seems you never will? And its not like I can. And its not like you can, convince our hearts it’ll be ok. So we learn the hard way. While our hearts our hearts stay, they’ve broke in two and I can’t say I’ll try.

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December 16, 2003

Sometimes, I think it’s not a spliter, but a railroad pin, perhaps, pounded into my chest. RYN: thank you.