03/07/2013 (edited)

Some additional thoughts have been added, not yet completed….

I’ve been thinking a lot late about racism and prejudices and how I play a part in these things.  Its a note for myself, food for thought to write about later.

An exchange from Facebook to add to the mill…

POST: In honor of International Women’s Day an overheard conversation from last year’s International Women’s Day:
A woman with accented English says to a man: Today is International Women’s Day. In my country this is a very important and special day for celebration. 
Man replies: Oh really … Well what about men? When is International Men’s Day? 
Woman: That would be every other day of the year.

My Comment: I honestly worry about that being harmful truth. I don’t know how to properly express it, but somehow that mentality of "well, you have a day in March. What else do you want?" sets in as opposed to every day being Human Being Day – male, female, black, white, yellow, red. I worry about white America thinking that about Black History Month. ‘We’ve given them a whole month – what else do they want?’ I pray and strive for the day when every day is History Day. Every Day is Human Being Day. Every day is Healthy Eating Day (as opposed to National Lima Bean Day). Perhaps it is the failing and limitations of the human race that we will never achieve that until He comes again and creation is restored.

 
Racism exists.  I’m positive it does.  And I used to think racism exists inside of me, and that it was something I needed to feel ashamed of.  I’ve slowly altered my thinking.  Racism, on some level, does exist inside of me.  I think that Highlanders are better than Lowlanders, that Scotsmen are better than Englishmen, that New Yorkers are smarter than non-New Yorkers and that Scottish Highland New Yorker’s are the most amazing people to ever exist.  Except those are all generalizations.  All those racial groups I named did horrible things to other human beings just because they were not part of their group.  All those groups did, and do, horrific things to each other.  All those groups are really no better than any other group.  But I am racist, and choose to believe, in general, those groups (of which I belong in a fashion) are better than others.
 
Am I a bad person for thinking those things?  For clinging to that from which I came from?  James once told a friend of ours that I was one of the most grounded people he knew because I was so rooted in my history.  I knew where I came from and who I was.  The good, the bad and the ugly – it was a part of my history.  Am I a racist?
 
I think its when you mix in prejudice that the problem arises.  Merriam-Webster defines prejudice as 
1 – injury or damage resulting from some judgment or action of another in disregard of one’s rights; especially : detriment to one’s legal rights or claims
2 – (a) : preconceived judgment or opinion; an adverse opinion or leaning formed without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge
(b) : an instance of such judgment or opinion
(c) : an irrational attitude of hostility directed against an individual, a group, a race, or their supposed characteristics
 
Those two end definitions are definitely not good. An attitude of hostility isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but when that attitude is irrational then we get into trouble.  Right?  Well, think about this.  When I’m menstrating, I become pretty irrational at times.  I will take on an attitude of hostility towards… well, nearly anyone.  There is no reason or rational behind why one person makes me feel better and another makes me want to gut with a blunt instrument.  Generally, the people I want to gut are of the male species.  Does that make me prejudice?  I think so.  Except, I don’t act on those irrational thoughts.  I don’t go around gutting every male I see just for being male.  So am I still evil and wrong?
 
What about how New Yorkers feel about people from Jersey?  Or Mets fans feel about Yankee fans?  Or how Southerns feel about the Yankee Northerns?  Are not all those prejudices?  New Yorkers are aggressive drivers and Yankee fans are arrogant and Northerns are rude.  Those are ‘preconceived judgments… without just grounds or before sufficient knowledge’ right?  Except many New Yorkers are aggressive drivers.  Yankee fans are arrogant, and by Southern standards Northerns are rude.  You can find plenty of just grounds and sufficient knowledge to support that.
 
I think the danger comes in when you label an individual with a generalization. "You are a Yankee fan, therefore you are arrogant."  Or "You are from the North, therefore you are rude."  And once its taken a step further, its even more dangerous.  "That Yankee fan, I keyed his car because he must be arrogant."  OR "We beat up that Northerner, because he must be rude."  It assumes guilt without proof.  It assigns blame without evidence.  It issues judgment without cause.  However, if a Northerner interrupts someone, he is rude.  Except I don’t think he’s rude because he’s a Northerner. I think he’s rude cause he’s an ass!  If a New Yorker cuts people off and speeds through traffic, she is an agressive driver.  Except she’s not aggresive because she’s a New Yorker.  She’s aggressive because… we don’t know!.  Maybe she’s angry at someone.  Maybe she’s late.  Maybe she’s trying to get to a hospital or maybe she’s just trying to get a cup of coffee.  Although she probably learned how to drive aggressively because she’s a New Yorker.  My mother is the most passive driver I know.  Almost to the point of being dangerous.  She was raised in Jersey and has spent most of her life in New York.  Perhaps she does know how to drive aggressively, but I’ve never seen it.
 
I’m wandering from my point a bit, so let me circle back around.  When people hear I’m a Yankee fan, there is a shift in their attitude.  They look at me and see every other Yankee fan they’ve ever known.  Maybe the last Yankee fan they spoke to was a drunken arrogant prick, and there was an argument and physical altercation.  Even without meaning to, they look at me apprehensively, wondering if and when the drunk arrogant prick is going to spew from my lips.  The intensity of their past interactions with a Yankee fan will forever color their future interactions with Yankee fans.  They may not inflict injury or damage or act hostile, but it will color their interactions.
 
Its the nature of prejudice.  Something has happened in the past which colors your future.  Growing up I knew a boy named Brett.  Brett was a jerk.  He picked on my hair, on my clothes, on my homework, on my books, on everything about me.  And not in a boyhood crush kind of way; he was cruel.  He was a littleredheaded freckle-faced punk of a kid.  I used to think all Bretts were red-headed freckle-faced punks.  Everytime I met a new Brett, I instantly am on my guard, waiting for the cruel taunting to start.  It usually doesn’t and eventually I relax enough to accept that this Brett is nothing like the first Brett.  As an adult, I’m well aware that not all Bretts are redheaded, freckle-faced punks.  Still, every time I meet a new Brett, I can feel my guard fly up and my hackles rise.
 
Something happened in my past which colors my future.
 
Yankee fans, boys named Brett – These are fairly low levels of prejudice.  

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March 8, 2013

There is still so far to go for women to have equality, even in the most developed countries. There is still an agenda to keep women second-guessing every choice they make and doubting themselves. There is still discrimination, pay inequality, unequal opportunities, cultural barriers and a push to keep women in domestic spheres or in support roles, particularly once they have children. The struggle isn’t over.