Be Back Soon

bursting with things to say but without rhyme or reason i have no words to wonder how things turned out this season the fact that i am here and not somewhere out there is something something i guess i didnt stress enough before finding that without the strength in me there is no strength in you you talk and talk and talk but you dont know what to do what can i say to you that you wont already know what can you break to me that that i’m not breaking out of a rope can twist and twist but it can still have power the power to unwind the hope to get up out of here the fact that you cant change won’t change my mind i doubt it i dont belong here i am the one i need and we’ll go on without you dont think i cant complain because im the queen of seeing downers dont want to amputate i want to grow this flower i find that i can breathe without the music getting louder i think that i am safe inside this guarded tower without the hole in my heart there’d be no room for doubt here but i will fly again, on newly mended wings nothing you can do or say will ever deter me in my final hour the stage is set the lanes are wet and i am skidding out here i am the bird that sings i’m not a bird that preys and every single morning is just for today i dont need you to tell me who i’m gonna be or how i’ll be it i’m fine i’ll find the time dont need your sympathy cuz wherever i happen to be i’m still with me and that’s the facts about it wont change i cant escape i can no longer run away now the beast inside my very soul is consuming me but now i know the combination to the lock and key devour me cuz under addict there is something more the strength of will it takes just to live without a cure when i say believe me that im my own destroyer there’s no one left to blame no more mirrors to shatter this isnt just a game this is love and war yeah this life isn’t just pain this is the my finest hour the challenge that i face is worse than any demon before now and fortunately i know it’s not over til i stop breathing theres no more bullshit now, no more lies or traps or treason and for the first time in my life i can see the reason this isnt something tangible, malleable or small this thing could bring the mountains down with no effort at all one day i know i’ll see the sky and see the sun and clouds and know that this time im not dying to come down im high but i could be so much higher and one day soon i’ll touch the moon see what you say about that when there is no one left to fade me in or black me out i’ll see the world for what it is instead of just a shadow because with eyes like these how can i pass this final chance up if i dont change my ways if i cant cut the power then this storm will rage until it puts me in the ground sand castles break and wash away and all that’s left has fallen the hull is breached the lord beseeched its ripping me apart now but the only way to heal it is to get the infection out something about the sting of life still makes me think it scares me owning this indifference will somehow finally show me i have always meant to be so much more than what i am who i used to be and why i love who i am wrapped up in a sadness a bitter cold cocoon the ice is melting now and i will be back soon.