Things I’ve Learned

1.) Most guys are pigs – Yes I’m good looking, and I have a nice rack. But that doesn’t mean I’m a slut, and the chances I’ll actually sleep with you are slim and none. I’m not into flings, I want an actual relationship. So give it up.

2.) Most people are fakes – People always try to pretend they are so great, and portray themselves to be something they are not. They boast about how honest, fun, and sweet they are, but in truth they are boring, mean liars which is why they are single in the first place.

3.) Cyber sex is dumb – It has to be one of the biggest wastes of time. Until man is able to create a port you can stick your dick into, keep sex in the bedroom, not on your computer.

4.) The bigger a womans breasts, the dumber the men become – Stick a big rack in a man’s face and he becomes a blubbering idiot. Boobs are gigantic mammary glands, they are used to feed babies. Settle down.

5.) Humanity is pointless – We waste everything on the planet, pollute it all to hell, and kill anything that gets in our way, and then we expect the planet to always be a never ending resource. Someday we’re going to go too far, and then we’re all screwed.

6.) Religion is a joke – I’m sorry, but if there is a god he is one sick, twisted fucker. It makes people do really bad things, and is nothing but one giant contradiction. Fuck god. He’s never done anything for me.

7.) Girls always think they’re fat – They could be nothing but skin and bones, but they will always complain about how fat their thighs are, or how big their ass is. Get over it, and EAT SOMETHING you skinny bitches. No guy wants to fuck a skeleton.

8.) Everybody masturbates – Both guys and girls, nobody goes their whole life without tinkering in the toolshed. So don’t bother denying it.

9.) OJ is guilty, and Michael Jackson is a pedophile – Juries may not have convicted them, but everyone on earth knows they’re guilty. What is it about a man with a glove?

10.) No matter how hard you try, you will die – Life is short. And you just wasted two minutes of your life reading this shit.