And Here I Find Myself

The last time I wrote in here, it was 2010. Now, it’s 2024 and so much has happened over the last fourteen years.

I had forgotten all about this diary, how it used to be a safe space for me when I didn’t have many of those. I still don’t.

I skimmed through some of my posts here, many of them made me cringe and I considered deleting them all or at least making them private so I don’t looks so painfully stupid and naive, but instead I will leave them as glimpses about a life that doesn’t exist anymore.

I would have hoped that things have improved, and while I’m at a place of (mostly) peace right now at the age of 43 (almost 44) it took a hell of a lot of pain and suffering to get here.

In the last fourteen years, I went through many moves, relationships came and went. I had a child. Then I fell in love with an American which led to a lot of cross border drama and travel (especially during Covid). I learned that happily ever after was not meant for me, as I married a narcissistic monster who nearly destroyed my life and abandoned my son and I in another country. However, after the worst of my storms have passed I have come to a place of quiet acceptance and a sense of peace in my life I’ve never had before.

Perhaps I will write about it sometime.

I hope life has been kind to all of you during the last few years. Lord knows this world can be anything but kind.