whereineedtobe

days spill in to days that slide in to weeks and the months slowly change. i was always counting up and now i am counting down, waiting for the day to come where nothing before it is supposed to matter anymore. a day where i am in that place to see how far i have come and how much i have changed, and everything is different in reality, but in my head it is still the same. no one has aged, it is all exactly as i want to remember it, but the pictures don’t move and everything is standing still and i am alone.

all these years later i have found myself where i never thought i would be, what i never even imagined i could ever want. i always figured once i found the one that i couldn’t imagine my life without, everything else would never hurt again, more then fading in to the background, it would all go away. that i would no longer think about the places i have come from, and although there is no way it could ever mater, i have never really forgotten. soon we will be married,one day, and i will be gone again, because it is beyond the time to go and i will have a family, but few will ever know. if i even want to be sad for the years i’ve left behind, my son will kick me in the ribs and remind me where my heart is.

the truth is one day you can get everything you want, but it never completely replaces all the things you never got.

i’d rather die then live without him (love) ,and i would kill myself to let my baby live.