controlled.

the symptoms say
that your heart will start to race
and your chest will feel as though
it is caving in,
like you are being smothered.
it can come at anytime
not quite triggered by anything
imparticular
and it will be hard to focus.
you may start to shake
and drastic temperatures
will run through your body,
your hands.
everything may seem surreal
like you are not really in your surrondings
like it all has to be over soon.
it’s possible that you will have sharp pains
right where your rib cage starts
that shoot up in to your chest.
they inflict a sense of
fear,
of feeling not in control,
of impending doom.
most people
think they are having a heart attack,
or they are dying,
or they have gone insane.
you will wonder if the feelings will ever
go away,
if tomorrow,
you are going to wakeup
normal.
which will seem impossible.
and if it becomes a disorder,
where it is happening again
and again,
it is normal for people
to fear going back
to the places
where it has happened
before.
it then becomes the fear
of open spaces
and one can rarely live
a normal life.

and hours later,
when youre still breathing abnormally,
still on the verge of bursting in to tears at any moment,
scared for you life,
and your sanity,
you will have to admit
that you had
a panic attack
and you are no longer in control.