a whole new story.

he said, "there’s sadness in your eyes",
and sometimes i can feel it
so heavy and full feeling
so painful
and unrelenting.
he said, "there’s sadness in your eyes",
and i tell him with a smile,
"i don’t know where it comes from,
but it’s been there for a while".
i can feel it in my shoulders,
my back, my chest
my heart,
my head.
he said, " you are the only thing
that is keeping me sane",
and i tell him
"i feel like i am going crazy".
and he asks,"baby, don’t i make you happy?",
and i can’t quite find the words
to explain
that it has nothing to do with him
but this place
and this life
and this time.
he said, "i wasn’t happy before i met you",
and i told him "i haven’t been happy in years",
i feel like i have gone through hell
and back again
and he is still wet behind
the ears.
he said, "i’ll never leave you",
and i said "god, i hope you’re right",
while everything else makes me give up
you seem worth the fight.
and i tell you "i haven’t been this
vulnerable since i dont know when
and you have left me more speechless,
and breathless
than
anyone has."
now i am so scared ,
and i am risking losing
the part of me
i’ve just gotten back
because it took me
up until now
to figure out
it was my heart that i lacked.

so please, please give it back.
i am so fragile right now.