10/28/07

i don’t know what to write
because i don’t know how i feel
i use only my imagination
to know what is or is not real
see, my feelings and my thoughts
they rarely coincide
and my constant mood is tired
and feeling the need to hide.

i don’t write my thoughts on paper, because then i own them, they are a part of me. i can never take them back. my theories and thoughts are often unjusitifiable, not that i would ever be given the chance to explain. i can never be too honest because, yeah, the truth does hurt. and i have to control my temper because it seems to get the best of me and i would hate to be one of those people who are constantly screaming and nagging, crying and whining. who wont allow other people to feel sorry for them because they feel sorry enough for themselves. people who will always do what they can to be alone as often as possible. people who bitch and complain because their life sucks, never realizing that they were the ones who made it that way. people who are indecisive and never figure out what they want.

if i write it down
it becomes a true statement,
my testimony,
my words.
and that would mean
i just screwed up again.