Today I Am Very Afraid

 I shouldn’t care what others think. I should just embrace my own happiness. But I am so very afraid. I’m already in a very, very bad financial position. I’m already starting a brand new relationship. We have only been together for two months as of yesterday. But I am pregnant.

     We are planning to go to the arctic together to live. I am very happy with him. But I am terrified. I don’t want to tell my family. I can’t bear the reaction. Maybe a baby wasn’t such a good idea, but I had no idea I would get pregnant so soon after trying. Rob and I didn’t use protection for years, and I never got pregnant.

     I am so afraid. I feel very alone when he is not near, and unfortunately he is not living with me now, not until we move. He is at the other end of the city now. I am so scared. I can’t sleep.

     I am happy, and I want this baby. I want this life. But why did I choose to do this so soon? I had no idea it would happen so fast. I really didn’t think it would.