SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!TTTTTFFFFAACDED

waht the hell is ewrong with me? I am SOO drunk. I really wanted to go and have fun, but Jen called Gill from athat party, and toldthem to get me in a bac. The cabbie was laughing at me so hard. I coudn’t even shit up. shut up I mean.

  ops. I  skeeped a line.

oops, I did it again, lmafao. I said to much to Jen, and now I think it will get back to her. I mean I said too much to John, her b/f and now it wil get aback to her. I am a complete retard. Everyone will hate me by tomorrow wo, I am i forget what I was gon to say.

     I think everyone really hates me. Gill says she’s getting back together with Kevin. All this time I have been thnking that the way she feels about Kevin is the same as how steve feels about me. But I gues hnot, b/c she is getting back toyether with him. I am  really upset. I want steve to want .e I meant want me.

     Maybe it’es really just the same way Jen feels. She said that she just stopped loving Jeff all of a sudden, after a long time of loving him. She said that maybe that’s how Steve feels. what thel heel? That can’t hvave happend. Why would he have puked 8 times wehen he ended it with me? He was just as upset as I was. waht is wrong with me? why can’t i just get over it? I want life to go on! Whu am I so F4cked up? I am stupid. I relaly am. I just want Steve. maybe it was because he was my first REAL love, bu tmaybe not. Maybe  he was soething more. Mayb eI am just a retard. I am so stupid.

     I said away too much to John about Jen. Jen said taht she didn’t love jeff anyomre. HOw could she possibly move on so quickly? What if she hurts John like that too? I don’t want him to have to feel that! I dno’t want that to happen. I want everytone to be like how Steve is. I really value his opinions, but he didn’t car ewhen I had a b/f!!! Why do I value that too’? Why do I value his opintions so much?

    Everyone was laughing at me so ha rd when they picked me up in the cab. It was almost like I wanted them too.

    I want someone to care. I want someone to care like Steve did. All voer agian. I love him so much. I will never love someone like I loved him again. I will never love someone because no on e will efer be the same. waht’s wron gwit h  me? why is the world so f4cked up? I think I’m going to puke…