Preparation for Work

      I can’t sleep. It’s 3am, and just before I tried to go to sleep an hour ago, I realized that it’s the 9th of July, and I have to be back for the 14th. 

     I’m  thinking about what I can do to change at work. AndI figure the only way to sort out my thoughts is to journal them.

     Part of my problem has been… several things. But mostly it just adds up to one thing.

     I was worried if I was good enough. I was worried if my employees were better than me, or good enough. I was worried about what everyone thought of me. I was worried about if everyone liked me. I was worried about what I looked like. I was worried if my employees were getting along. (I guess that’s legit) I was worried if my employees liked me. I was worried about all the little rumours that were going around. I was worried, at one time, about the latest Rob incident.

    When I go back, I’m going to be worried about one thing ONLY: How to make my department better.

     It doesn’t matter about what’s happening with anyone else. It doesn’t matter what is going on in the store. I am going to be the best manager I can be, learn everything I can, do everything as quickly as possible to make the best use of my time that I can. And I’m going to train the shit out of my employees. If they’re not good, I’ll make them good. Because we’re going to be the best.

    And you know what… it doesn’t even matter what anyone else thinks, because if I’m the best in my own opinion, then I’m the best. And I think that, for me, that’s the best advice I can give myself. Because I know myself, and I know what’s best for myself. And that’s what is going to make things better.

     That all being said, this is all going to be accomplished within my 44 hour work week. I am leaving AND ARRIVING at the time I schedule myself for. No more being late. Because I’m going to have the best kitchen department in the company. It’s going to happen. And it will be the best by my own standards. Because I know I have what it takes.

     And as much as I would love to sit here and fantasize what everyone’s reactions will be once I finally get there, it doesn’t matter. Because right now, they don’t believe in me. At all. And if they’re opinions matter that much to me, it will bring me down. So guess what? They don’t matter. Not at all. Not even a little bit. Know why? Because I’m going to walk in there, and then out again, knowing I did my best from am to pm.

     I’m really not sure how things will go if I’m demoted. I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there. Because even that doesn’t matter. I know I’m really good at my job, and they can never take that away from me.