NoJoMo 2008

I’m going to try and follow through with this nojomo thing this year. I missed it yesterday but I’m going to start today, because I kinda forgot about it.

Rob just dropped me off at home with his Nana. His insurance doesn’t come through until later so we’re back to relying on rides from people until the 16th.

A weekend is kind of hard, we just see each other for 2 days and then he’s suddenly gone again. I can’t believe how trapped I feel in my life right now and I can’t help but wonder if it’s because of Rob. I think it is…I mean, how did I end up in a relationship anyway? *sigh*

I’m trying really hard to just enjoy life as it is, but I’m just so bloody miserable. I feel so empty, and I don’t know how to fill it, or what I want to do with myself at all.

I finally got my letter for counselling. I’m off the waiting list, so I’m going to have to call from work tomorrow and figure something out.

I’m also trying really hard to cut back my computer time. It’s becoming more and more obvious to me that I use this as an emotional escape from the world. I have always done things like this, but this has always been my safe place. All of my safe memories of childhood consist of movies and computer games.

I can’t help but notice how much like my mother I am. I am so easily irritated by absolutely everything. I’m so lucky that Rob puts up with me…Steve couldn’t handle me and left.

Oh I’m so fucking sick of my own thoughts, I don’t want to write anymore in here today.