Life/Robby Poem

One by one, each like the other
not one supportive ear to a brother
thinking the world is all the same
wishing it was all just a game

never feeling truly loved
wondering how some fit in like a glove
confused and misunderstood
in people not seeing any good

in men there could be found
something in which my sorrows would drown:

The first was great company
but no way could he see
what I am, who I was
nothing but a little fuzz

no common ground to share
In the end I didn’t even care
nothing but anger and dislike did I feel
no way could my love for him be real.

Then along came the next one
far more caring and fun
nothing but joy when he was near
never a moment did I think I could fear

of the end that did eventually come
never once did I think I would lose his sun
thus I learned a soul can die
who would have thought just over some guy?

the earth was once again empty and bare
not even for my own breath did I care
thus my body became shared
for a long time in this way it was bared

phoney feelings of love and concern
nawt but drama did I ever churn
after two years of college I was sick
how could I have been so thick?

a beautiful face of love I did meet
but not before long did I get cold feet
filling the void consumed so much of my life
I have finally realized how full I am of strife

a more caring person I couldn’t know
but I am starting to reap more then I sow
someone so beautiful and pure
shouldn’t have to suffer, of this I am sure

I have done nothing but cause him pain
secretly I hope I gave him something to gain
from this brief time our lives have connected
could it one day be resurrected?

Time alone is what I need
time alone to discover and grieve
whether he is the right one I can’t know
no false hopes can I wrap with a bow

smothered with too much love and affection
makes me question even remotely a resurrection
the end of this is the only hope I see
maturing lots for both him and me

Too much time spent away from myself
the day has come to put boys up on the shelf
a soul-searching mission for me to begin
a second longer this way is a sin.