Guilty over James, Happy with Eric

 I’ve been trying to write in here a little bit every day. It really helps solidify my thoughts for myself. This way, I can get out thoughts that I have without worrying that I offended anyone, or worry about anyone else influencing my opinion. 

     I was thinking about James today. Wondering if I hurt him. He really didn’t see it coming. At all. But as much as I feel bad for him, he did spend one of the nights I was down there in the barracks. And he was really difficult to talk to. I don’t know, hard to judge. He had put his life on the line every day for a year, he was looking forward to seeing his family. He didn’t text me at all, I had to initiate every conversation, and I would wait several days for a response. I don’t know, maybe I’m reading into it too much? I guess I do feel bad though.

     Things with Eric are going really well. I hate being away from him and being with him is just so normal. I don’t really think I can see how I could be with anyone else already. I like the pace things are going. I like spending time with him.

     We’re similar enough that we understand each other really well, but different enough that we kind of admire each other. His company is like a quiet, peaceful, comfort. I really like it. lol, even though he’s anything but quiet sometimes lol. I really like that about him. 

     I can sleep now.