GRANDPA IS OK!!!

Well, Grandpa went into his triple bypass surgery today and is fine. Grandma said that they just woke him up and he is fine. I am so glad. I’m sure they woke him up and he just started chattering away right away. I can just picture it. Him cracking some joke about his surgery and making everyone around him laugh…I love Grumps so much.

     He better not get up or do anything stupid before he is supposed to…I told Grandma to tell him that I would come down and beat him up. He can’t stand being told that he can’t do something and will do anything that the doctors tell him not to do.

     The day he had a heart attack a few years ago, he kept telling everyone he was fine and went out and golfed the whole day before he went to the hospital…geez…you would think he would kill himself that way…but it’s his attitude that keeps him going.

     As long as I live, I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone as happy, outgoing and positive as him. The day I do…he’s a keeper! lol. I hope that doens’t sound creepy, haha.

     I like social people. My Grandparents are more social than anyone I know. Always talking to people and visiting them…always doing something with somebody. I wish I was a little more like that. I think of myself as a fairly social person, but not to that degree. I think they are such happy people.

     When I get married, I hope I have a relationship like they have with each other.

     I do have one little problem though. My whole life, I was a lot closer to my mother’s parents. They were the ones that helped raise me. They let me stay at their house to the point where I lived half there and half with my parents.
     As much as I love them, I find them to be oppressing. I always feel like I can’t be myself with them. I get frustrated with them so easily. I find myself feeling like nothing I do is ever good enough. I try and try and I am constantly criticized. I can only take so much of them. Sometimes, it’s just like, "I’m an adult, I have lived on my own for almost 2 years, and I am perfectly capable of doing things without you telling me to do them…and if I don’t do those things right away, that should be okay, because I am not you and it is not me to do it right away!"
     The most frustrating part is that I can’t say anything like that because Nanny takes it offensively. (even if I did say it a lot nicer than I mentioned above!) I find myself so angry, and I cna’t even  mention a lot of things in my life because those things are never a discussoin, it’s a lecture. But she doens’t see it that way. She will say things, and I will ask her politely to say them differently, it makes me feel badly about myself, and she just tells me that my interpretation of what she says makes it seem that way. It makes me think, well, why doesn’t she say things so that people won’t think that way? Because maybe it makes other people think the same way? I have seen them do the same thing with other people, just not to the same degree as me, and it doens’t ever seem to go down well.
     Well, anyways, the point of me saying that I had a wee problem was because I spent the whole holidays at the grandparents who I haven’t spent my whole life with. Nanny seemed upset that I didn’t spend quite as much time there with her, although she didn’t say anything.
      But Grandma (the set of grandparents that just had the triple bypass), just asked me when I had some holidays next and seemed really excited about the suggestion she made about me coming to see her! I will feel really bad if I go to stay at her house and not my Nanny’s…I really can’t stand staying at the other house. It relaly doesn’t take long before we argue. We argue ALL the time…I just can’t get along with her. I feel like I can’t be myself. When we don’t argue, it’s because I just don’t say anything too personal to her and I pretend like I’m a little kid. Did you know that she showered me until I was 11? I HAD MY PERIOD AT 10!!! I remember how frustrated I used to be…my mum stopped showering me when I was 4 or 5…

     I don’t know what to do or say so there aren’t any hurt feelings…I just need my space from Nanny. I would like to visit her and stuff. I know I should appreciate what I have. I know she’s my Grandmother and I should forget all this stuff because she won’t be around forever, but it’s still a problem…any suggestions?